A New Season

Not only are we experiencing a new season outside (FINALLY fall has arrived in the valley), but I feel like we are moving towards a new season in our family. In August I turned the big 3-0. It kind of slipped right by me with little acknowledgement. Having a birthday in the first week of school (on the second day none the less) really makes celebrating and enjoying it difficult. On top of that, shortly after my birthday we were hit by some pretty serious medical issues with Santi that left him out of work for 7 weeks. Thankfully we are now getting back to normal, but it was a rough time there for awhile. But I feel like I need to go back and dive into my feelings about turning 30, look back on the last decade, and talk about what I feel that God has in store for me and for our family in the coming months. I can't deny the fact that over the last couple of months since all of this has happened, God has come in an shaken up our family in a HUGE way. Have you ever experienced one of those big God moments in your life? Suddenly everything is clear, even when your world feels like it's been turned upside down and inside out. The last time our lives were shaken up like this and God worked through our pain and fears was when we were going through our pregnancy losses. While dealing with medical issues is extremely stressful, not only because I was worried deeply about the person that I love so much, but because I was also tasked with being two parents at once while working full-time. But despite how exhausting and overwhelming the last 7 weeks have been, I can look back now that the smoke has cleared and say THANK YOU God. THANK YOU! Not only have our eyes been opened to God's plan and purpose for our family in the coming months as well as the desires of our hearts, but we have grown closer together and developed a deeper love and understanding for one another. While the desire to return to Indiana has always been there (especially since Luca was born), it was made very clear that we need to adjust our priorities in our lives right now and be close to our families. We realized just how desperately we want Luca to have his grandparents and cousins around. How important those relationships are, and how much our lives would be changed if we were closer. Not only that but we strongly desire to have more children (God willing) and we know the value of having family nearby when we take on that endeavor. We don't know yet what this will look like for us in the months ahead, and all we can do at this point is trust in Him and allow Him to guide our decisions. I know that if this is truly His will for us, He will make a way. We will get more serious about the job search and selling the house come spring, but for now we are truly excited about the possibilities that lie ahead.
Even though I turned 30 with little thought, I know that it is a big milestone and that the next decade is going to hold a lot of big things for our family. I know it's going to take a lot of hard work, but I can't wait to see what He has in store. Looking back on the last ten years it's crazy to think about everything I have accomplished and experienced. Ten years ago I had just turned 20 and was settling into my first apartment. I was in my second year of college and still trying to find my way. At 21 I let go of some of my past that was holding me back and I took a big chance and went to Mexico alone for the summer. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life and I am so thankful I did it. Shortly after I returned from Mexico I met Santiago, and from there my life really began to change. At 22 I was engaged to be married and graduated from college. At 23 I married my best friend and we began our journey together as husband and wife. At 24 I began my teaching career in Arizona. At 25 we moved into our first home together and traveled to Ecuador for the first time. At 26 we lost our first two pregnancies. At 27 I completed my Master's degree and became pregnant with and gave birth to our first son Luca. At 28 I landed a new teaching position at one of the best districts in the state. And here I am now at 30, waiting to see what exciting things my 30's will hold. I can hardly wait!

Keeping It Real

We've been busy. That's an understatement. My blogging has slacked (yet again). The beginning of a new school year always seems to get the best of me. Oh, and our summer was pretty jam packed as well. With that being said, it's time to get real. We are currently experiencing one of those God moments in our lives. You know, the kind that stop you in your tracks and make you "get real" with yourself? Yeah, that kind. I keep telling myself that the end result of this is going to be good. God has a plan. Sometimes I just fail to see that plan until he hits me with a wake up call. Like three years ago when I was pretending like I didn't hear him calling me to take that leap of faith and start our family. Going through our miscarriages and fertility issues was by far the most difficult thing we have been through as a married couple, but wow that was a life changing time. I have never felt so close to God, or seen the evidence of His presence so clearly. So here's what's real:
A couple of weeks ago Santi had an episode of feeling really dizzy while we were out to eat for Andrea's birthday. We went to the ER and his blood pressure was really high, and medications didn't seem to bring it down. We were sent home with orders to see his doctor the next day. After two weeks of doctor and specialist visits and time in and out of the ER (thankfully Santi's wonderful parents were able to fly out to help), we are still waiting patiently for the results of several tests he had done last week. The thought is that it may be a problem with his adrenal glad that is causing all of his issues, and may have even been the culprit for his high blood pressure that he has been dealing with for years. Hopefully tomorrow we should have more information. In the meantime he is still off work per doctor's orders, and I am playing mommy, nurse, teacher, chef, and housekeeper. Now I realize just how much I value my dear husband and what he does for our family. Being a single mom is rough! I am exhausted, and I am trying to keep a clear mind and firm grasp on the peace that surpasses all understanding. And it's not easy holding it together. But the show must go on. I am so thankful in all of this for the truly amazing people in our lives that have jumped in to help and support us while we work though this. Meals, prayers, help with housework and Luca...it's humbling. Through all of this, God has brought a lot of clarity, and I have realized the need for a shift in priorities in our family, and it's been an incredible blessing. I know that He is working in our family right now, and "I will remain confident in this, I will see the goodness of the Lord."

In the meantime, we seriously have the cutest, sweetest little boy in the entire world. I don't know where I would be without that kid. I really and truly don't. Even when he is a total two year old tyrant. I just can't get enough. I know this hasn't been easy for him either, but he's a trooper, and I love him for it.

The Time Has Come...

To lose weight. I have always been a petite gal, and I have never been overweight. Sure I put on a few extra pounds in college, and during the months I was coping with our miscarriages and trying to conceive I was a little on the chubbier side, but never overweight. Yes I know I just had a baby 6 weeks ago and it takes time to lose the weight, but I am ready to get started! I am ashamed to admit that I allowed myself to pack on nearly 50lbs during my pregnancy. Wow. That's tough to say. I had always told myself prior to becoming pregnant that I would stay active during my pregnancy and only gain the recommended amount of weight. Well, I was so anxious about everything during my pregnancy, and any form of exercise beyond walking just made me a nervous wreck. I know that sounds crazy, but after two losses I was not about to do anything that could possibly jeopardize another pregnancy. When I was working the weight gain was minimal because I was on my feet teaching kindergarten all day and busy, busy, busy. Towards the end of my pregnancy is when I started gaining fast. Sure I swelled up like a blimp, so a lot of it was water weight, but it also didn't help that the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy fell during the beginning of summer vacation and I sat around in the AC all day stuffing my face. Well, what's done is done. I am less than thrilled with the way I look now, but I have an amazing little boy to show for it.
On Monday I was given the go ahead by my doctor to start exercising, and I have started really watching what I eat. I am going to be totally up front and open about my weight on here so that I have some accountability on this journey. Before I got pregnant my weight hovered around 118-122, which was even a few more pounds than I would have liked. At my last prenatal visit before I went into labor I weighed in at a whopping 169lbs. Yeah. My first day home from the hospital I was at 157lbs. As of Monday's doctor's visit I was down to 143lbs. So that's 26lbs that I have lost since delivery. I still have a little more than 20lbs to go to be where I would like. Santi is joining me on this weight loss journey. He lost about 25lbs before Luca arrived, and he still has more to lose, so it will be nice to have a partner to keep me motivated. I have to be honest, I am a little overwhelmed by the task ahead since this is my first venture with weight loss. I will keep you posted on how things are going...