Luca Says: 2nd Edition

We had a fantastic time in Pinetop for fall break, and it was so great to get out of the heat and enjoy some cool, fresh fall weather. The fall weather has finally made it to the valley now, and I am loving it! I meant to update sooner, but things got busy like always. I guess that's just the way it goes when you teach full time and have a toddler to chase around. Can you believe it's finally cool enough for long sleeved shirts? And daily walks to the park!

 Lately I have been working a lot on Luca's first year album in Shutterfly...yes, I am still working on it. Hey, I am up to 9 months old. Maybe it will be finished before he turns 18. Looking through the hundreds of pictures we have taken since he was born really tugs at my heartstrings. Where did that tiny little baby go?! I look at the little boy I see running around our house now, and I can hardly remember that squishy little baby. :::cue tears::: Today he was feeling a little under the weather. He woke up at 5am and actually slept on my chest in our bed until 7. This NEVER happens anymore. Like not since he was a newborn. It was heaven. Then, this evening he cuddled up with me on the couch all evening. I hate when he isn't feeling well, but it's seriously the only time he will sit on my lap or cuddle up with me for longer than 5 seconds. I secretly was thankful for the quiet moments with my sick little man. I didn't touch my messy house all day, but I don't care. I wanted to savor every single second of him actually wanting his mommy. Despite him feeling pretty crummy, he mustered up a smile and said "cheese" when I tried to snap a quick picture of him snuggled on my chest. What a doll.

Luca is talking up a storm lately, and he is always learning new words. Here is the latest edition of "Luca Says"...

apple-when he wants applesauce, his favorite snack (it may have even beat cheese)
go-when he wants Tevez to get out of his way he pushes him and says "go"
off-when he wants his shoes off
goggy=doggy
he says something like "pumpkin", they have been learning about them at school
shoe-he is actually pronouncing it clearly now, and he is still obsessed with shoes
potty-pointing to the toilet
poopy-for obvious reasons...
Elmo

I know I have more to add to this list, but it's late and my brain is foggy. 
Oh yeah, and he LOVES dancing to Gangham Style. Think modern Asian Macarena...

Here We Go Again!

Well, another school year has begun. I survived my first week in a new district, new school, and new grade. All in all it went pretty well...but I am EXHAUSTED. I am so glad I had a helper to set up my classroom for the first week.

 Luca has settled in really well at his new daycare and we really like it there so far. He seems really happy, and I am so glad he is so easy going and social. He just goes with the flow. It's so funny though, his little personality is totally coming out even more now that we have entered the toddler phase. I always knew he was demanding and stubborn (the kid knows what he wants and he better get it rightthisverysecond), but now he comes home with reports from daycare about "demanding" things from his teacher. She says it's the cutest thing. Hardy har har. I am not so sure it will be cute in another year or two. Something tells me we are in trouble with our little firecracker.
Oh yeah, and how could I forget...he is WALKING!!!!!! He took his first official steps a few weeks ago for Santi and I, but then he wouldn't do it anymore. He wanted to drag us all over the house by our fingers (and throw fits if we wouldn't walk with him where he wanted to go), but he just wouldn't do it on his own. This week at daycare when I arrived to pick him up, he actually walked from his teacher to me. It was the most precious sight! Then, tonight he and I had a mommy and Luca "date" night since Santi went to see a movie with his work buddy. He actually toddled across the living room for the first time! He is still pretty hesitant, but he can totally do it! He gets so excited too. It's so cute. He wants to take off running though, and he gets frustrated that he can't go as fast as he wants, so he grabs my hand and pulls me along.

So, totally random side note, Google+ rocks my socks now that I finally "get" how to use it. And if my phone wasn't so crappy it would rock even more  (it keeps deleting random photos...which is super annoying). I finally downloaded the app and figured out how to send all the photos from my phone to Google+, which now has my favorite photo editing tool, and since it's connected to blogger as well I can upload photos directly to the blog and edit them all in one place!!!! IT'S AWESOME! Here. I was playing around with it.

                        Someone went to Burger King and discovered the art of dipping things in ketchup.

Dear Luca

Dear Luca,
I can't believe you are one! Where has the time gone? It seems like overnight you transformed from a tiny little baby into this funny, active little toddler with a BIG personality. You are so busy these days. Climbing on everything, trying to put on every pair of shoes you find (yours, mine, and daddy's) in hopes that someone will take you outside (despite the fact that it's over 100 degrees outside), playing with Tevez (he sure makes you laugh), chasing balls, and examining everything. You know what you want and you are determined to get it. You are a stubborn little boy. Passionate already I know. We have had a lot of fun this summer playing at the splash pad, swimming, and visiting family in Indiana. You did a great job on your first plane ride, considering you were confined to our laps. You are not a fan of being confined. You love to explore and you are always on the move. I know soon enough you will be walking...or you might just go straight to running. You are so close, and I am just waiting to see you take those first steps and let go of our hands. I know you are ready for more independence. In just a few days you will start your new school. I know you will make a lot of new friends and enjoy all the activities. You are such a social little guy, always waving at everyone. I am going to miss spending all day with you, but I know we will have plenty of fun after school each day. We love you more than anything little man, and we are so blessed to have you in our lives!!!! You are amazing! Never forget that.

Love,
Mommy

We have a one year old?

Wait, when did that happen?! How did my tiny little baby turn into a busy one year old boy? Ahhhhhh! I just keep thinking about what we were doing this time last year. We were up all night with a newborn. No clue what we were doing. Exhausted. Trying to adjust to this tiny little thing that came in and shook up our lives. Well, a year later I think it's safe to say that we have started to settle into our new roles as mommy and daddy, but we still have a LOT to learn. Every new stage comes with new challenges, questions, and surprises. Just when it felt like we were finally mastering the baby stage, BAM! We have a toddler. An active, curious ball of energy. He is into everything. It's exhausting. He loves balls, climbing on things, tools, putting things together, tormenting Tevez, being outside, and did I mention balls? Soccer, football, baseball, basketball. It doesn't matter. He is his father's son.
We celebrated his first birthday here in Arizona with a pool party. He had plenty of friends around to help him celebrate, and he of course was happy to be in the pool. As for the cake, he wasn't too interested in eating it as I anticipated, but he did an awesome job of covering himself head to toe in blue icing. A shower was required afterwards. But you just can't celebrate enough when you are turning one, so we threw a family party in Indiana as well. It was really special for him to be able to celebrate his birthday with all of his grandparents and great grandparents as well as his cousin Ruthi. They had a blast together. It was great to be back in the midwest even if it was a whirlwind of a visit. Now we are back in Phoenix, and I have one more week of summer before I officially start my new job at my new school. It's a bit overwhelming thinking about starting over in a new district, new school, and new grade. Well, the first month of school is overwhelming regardless. On top of that, we have a LOT going on. I hope I get more time to blog in the upcoming weeks because I feel like I have been so bad at blogging. I have a million things I want to share!!!! For now, please accept my crummy short post and enjoy a couple of birthday pictures!

Ahhhhh...

Well, summer vacation has officially begun and I thought I would pop in and let you all know what is happening in the Sotomayor household. After the craziness of finishing out my LAST school year at Desert Oasis (hallelujah), we took our first family trip to California to visit family and of course take Luca to the beach. Despite chilly weather, we had a great time just hanging out and exploring southern California. Luca of course LOVED the beach. He went toddling right towards the water holding onto daddy's hands, mouth wide open with awe and excitement. He also loved the sand. That is the longest I have ever seen him sit still in one place, bucket and shovel in hand. Thankfully none of it made it into his mouth. We also got to spend a lot of time with Santi's family, and Luca enjoyed checking out Uncle Xavi's new digs in Venice Beach. Isn't that like the perfect place for a twenty something single guy? Yeah, I know. I think Santi was drooling on the inside. Of course Luca was also spoiled rotten by his great aunts, and we were so happy we got to see Tia Maria Enith who was visiting from Ecuador. He is definitely the prince of the Sotomayor side being the only baby boy among a bunch of baby girls. And he definitely has grandpa's personality. Hopefully we will get to see grandpa in a month or two when he makes his way to the states again. After a relaxing weekend away, I got to start my summer with my little man. We have been enjoying hanging out around the house, and have made plans for play dates, library story time, and the pool next week. The past couple of days he has been a little under the weather thanks to the top teeth working their way through. Hopefully they will pop out soon and he will be back to his happy self. Even when he is uncomfortable, he doesn't sit still. He has been busy cruising around all the furniture and I am certain he will be walking very soon. Eeeeek!

Besides taking care of my teething baby, my furry baby is also nursing an injury he managed just an hour after being dropped off at the pet resort. Oh Tevez. Poor thing. I am also working on some serious home organization over the summer, on top of getting ready for my first year in first grade at my new school...AND planning the final details of two 1st birthday parties! Man, so much for lounging. I have a bunch of pictures to post from Luca's first beach adventure, but my memory card is waaaaaaaaay over in the bookcase and I am so not getting up right now. Luca's nap time is one of the few moments of the day I get to sit and chill. Oh, and our laptop is still all slow and screwy, so it will be getting (hopefully) repaired next week, which may mean I don't get to update or post more pictures for a little while. AHHHH!

Mommy Fail

It's been a month since I blogged!!!! I know, I have been a real slacker. Mommy fail. Let's just say that the last month has been a very busy one. Our favorite little guy is growing like a weed. Those two bottom teeth are all the way in now, and man is it CUTE! I can't stand it! I wish I had more time to keep on every little detail of his first year because every single moment is so special. I get so wrapped up in the day to day things and I am so afraid of missing something. I can't believe his first Easter is just around the corner. We picked up his basket (ok, the Easter Bunny brought it) last week. Of course it has all sorts of sports things on it. Mommy may have eaten all the candy out of it already. I am dying to take him to see the Easter Bunny this weekend. Daddy thinks it's a terrible idea since he has some serious stranger anxiety at this age. Hey, it's a right of passage, and we skipped out on the whole Santa thing. Hopefully I can get some time to pick out an Easter outfit for him and we'll make it to the mall.
This past month, in addition to hitting the 8 month mark and getting his first two teeth, he also had his first trip to the zoo, stuck his toes in the pool, and started his new daycare. He has also added several "real" foods to his menu, including guacamole from Chipotle which he LOVED. He knows the good stuff! Spring break was such a welcome reprieve and I am so thankful that Santi had some time off work so we could enjoy some family time together. It was much needed!
 I cannot believe he will already be 9 months old in another week or so. That is just crazy. He has mastered the army crawl, and he is trying so hard to get going on all fours. He will get himself up, but then he isn't quite sure how to get moving. He is also desperate to pull himself to standing and will practically do a head stand attempting to get on his feet. I have a feeling I am going to wake up one day and he is going to be running through the house. It seems like these things just happen over night. Last week we booked our trip to Indiana for his 1st birthday, and I realized that we have not left the city of Phoenix in over a year (except our one mommy and daddy weekend in Vegas)! Man, having a baby really does change your life! I am so excited to take Luca to Indiana for the first time, and I am really excited that he will finally get to meet his great grandparents. I am sure he will have quite the turn out for his big day. I can't wait!
Along with watching Luca grow, I have been busy milling over some big life decisions. After a LOT, and I mean a LOT, of thinking and praying I have made the difficult decision to leave my current school district at the end of this year. I have spent five years at my school, worked with some amazing teachers, taught some wonderful kids, met some great families, and learned a lot about myself as an educator and as a person. It's going to be very bittersweet walking out those doors for the last time in May, but I feel that God is calling me in a new direction. I am not sure exactly what that means, but I am going to trust in Him and see what he has in store for me. He has never lead me astray, and I am sure it's something fantastic. I am still anxious, but excited at the same time.
Thanks for reading, and here is some serious cuteness for your time:

Confession

I need my smart phone back. Ok, I don't need it, but I really, really, really want one again. Santi got an iphone 4s yesterday, and I am slightly jealous. Ok, I am really jealous. I used to have a smart phone. Just a simple Droid, nothing fancy. I got rid of it before Luca arrived thinking I was going to be all money wise and save the $30 a month we were paying in data. I figured with a baby around there wouldn't be much time for playing on a fancy phone. Not to mention I was worried about what said baby might do to an expensive phone. Well, after about 10 months without my smart phone I have decided maybe I need to rejoin the 21st century. I hate that my dumb phone can't take any decent pictures. When you have an adorable 7 month old that is always doing cute things, you just want to be able to grab a camera and snap away. When the camera is not handy, I am out of luck. I also want to do more blogging, mainly because this is the only way I am recording all the events of Luca's first year. I skipped the whole baby book thing and decided I would keep this blog as my way of remembering all those special moments. I want to write more, and mostly I want to be able to quickly send pictures to the computer and blog away. I want to quickly and easily capture every second of my baby's life, because let's face it, he is growing way too fast and the baby phase isn't going to last much longer! So...I am thinking of taking Santi's old Droid Incredible for the time being, and hopefully becoming one of the cool kids with an iphone in December when I can upgrade again. I hope this means more blogging and more pictures of the world's cutest baby!

7 Months and So Many Changes

Wow. On Sunday our precious little baby turned 7 months old. Not only that, but in a matter of days he became an expert at sitting (no more toppling over), learned how to wave hi, and started army crawling forward and backward. I think it's time to finish the baby-proofing. I cannot believe how fast he is growing. My heart melts when I see pictures of him as a newborn. It seems like I blinked and that tiny baby doubled in size. Life has changed so much since he arrived, and even though balancing the demands of motherhood and a full time job is exhausting, I would do it over and over again. Luca has filled our lives with so much joy. He is such an incredible blessing.
While Luca is busy reaching milestones and changing every day, I am dealing with changes of my own. I have been praying for a long time for God to provide a way for me to stay at home with Luca. It makes me sick knowing that half of my paycheck goes to childcare and that I could be spending my days with him instead of other people's children. I struggle with this every.single.day. While I love teaching, I don't want to look back and regret the time I have missed with him. I am thankful that I am in a career that gives me 3 months off every year, but it's still not enough. So, as contract time approaches I am spending a lot of time praying for God to guide my decision and give me peace about it. I don't know what the future holds, and I am trying to remind myself daily that He is faithful. That He knows our deepest desires and has our best in mind. I am feeling called to take yet another leap of faith in life, and just like the last one, I am sure it won't be without struggles, but I know that He will provide. He is good. He is faithful. I am reminded of that every day when I look into the eyes of my precious rainbow baby (a rainbow baby refers to a baby born after a loss).

Look who can sit up all by himself!!!

Since Luca hit 6 months it seems like he is doing something new every single day. So far he has tackled rolling both ways (he has been doing this since 3 months), babbling consonants (loves to scream and shriek), eating solids, scooting around the room on his head, and now he is pretty proficient at sitting up all by himself. Check it out:

Here he is checking his Facebook.

 I can't believe how quickly he is growing and changing now. I remember the newborn days when it was so hard to imagine him transforming and reaching all the milestones of his first year. Now every day he looks less like a baby and more like a little boy. At times I wish I could just hit the pause button and keep him my little baby forever, but I am also excited to watch him turn into the little person he is going to become. He already has quite the personality, and I can only imagine what he will be like once he is able to express himself more. This weekend Santi and I are headed to Vegas for the weekend for some alone time and to celebrate Santi's 31st birthday. I am overwhelmed with mom guilt for leaving my little man overnight with his grandparents, even though I know they take great care of him. I just feel so bad since I work so much during the week. I hate giving up two full days with him. I know that we need to nurture our marriage and have some time to relax and recharge our batteries though, and I know that this time away is going to make me a better and more well rested mommy. I can hear the Sleep Number bed at our hotel calling my name...

Who goes to Vegas to sleep?! This girl.

6 Month Montage

Last week my baby boy turned 6 months old. I cannot believe we are halfway through his first year. Time flies! In the last 6 months he has gone from a tiny little baby that did nothing more than eat and sleep to a laughing, rolling, curious little boy that now sits up all by himself, loves fruit, grabs everything in sight, and drinks from a sippy cup. ::cue tears::

Whoa...did all that just happen?!

I woke up this morning to the aftermath of Christmas scattered all around my house, and I realized it's all over. I also realized I have not updated the blog once since mid November. I guess the busy holiday season got the best of me. I really was hoping to do a better job of keeping it updated for Luca's sake. He has grown and changed so much in the last month. I can't believe he will be 6 months old next week. His first year is just flying by. Sometimes I get emotional holding my little one in my arms at night just wondering where that tiny little baby went.

November and December have just flown by in a blur of work, visitors, holiday events, parties, sickness, and milestones. I went back to work on November 1st, and since then one of us has been sick with something almost every week. Luca is still battling his second cold, we all three had the stomach flu, I had food poisoning, and Luca also broke out head to toe in eczema. It's been a rough couple of months! In the midst of all that illness, we have had a slew of visitors and celebrated Luca's first Thanksgiving and Christmas. Since I fell behind on my posts, here is a photo timeline of Luca's first holiday season:

At 4.5 months we started Luca on some solids. He loved it in case you couldn't tell. So far he has tried bananas, avocados, pears, cereal, and a little bit of mango gelato. Can you guess which is his favorite?

Luca celebrated his first Thanksgiving with a visit from his Great Uncle Jerry and Great Aunt Mariana. He loved all the attention. 

Luca loved all the excitement and magic of his first Christmas. We took him to Home Plate for the Holidays at the Goodyear Ballpark where he saw Santa and snow and had his first real experience with cold weather! We also enjoyed the Tolleson Luces de Navidad parade and he was absolutely mesmerized by the police motorcycles. The kid loves lights and sound. He also loved scooting himself under the Christmas tree and pulling on the branches in an attempt to get to the lights. 

Luca's cousin Ruthi came out to visit for Christmas and they got to meet for the first time. They are just 4 months apart. It was so great spending time with my parents, Andrew, Candice, and Ruthi. We all had a great time together and even had a professional photo shoot of everyone together. I can't wait to see how they turned out! 

As 2012 quickly approaches I am so excited to see what the new year will bring. 2011 was such an incredible year, and we were so blessed with the arrival of our little boy. I am looking forward to watching him continue to grow and change over the next year. I am sure many more special memories are ahead. God is good!!!!

One Year Ago Today

Last year on this date, we found out we were expecting for the third time. Luckily for us, the third time proved to be the charm and we are so blessed with our precious little Luca. I remember that morning like it was yesterday. It was a Saturday morning and we were supposed to be volunteering at the food bank helping to paint and do some general clean up work. We were obviously trying to conceive after our two losses, and it was time to take a test. I had really wanted to wait until Halloween for some odd reason, but I just knew I was pregnant and didn't want to take a risk by inhaling paint fumes and doing heavy lifting all morning at the food bank if I was indeed pregnant. I didn't even have to wait for the second line to show up, I knew I was pregnant. Sure enough, there were those pretty two pink lines glaring back at me. And just to be sure...I also took a digital. I just love seeing that little word "pregnant" pop up on the screen. I remember feeling a range of emotions that morning. Of course one of the most prominent being fear. After having gone through two previous miscarriages, there is always the nagging thought that this one might not "stick" either. I didn't want to be too excited, and I was no longer that naive person I was the first time I got pregnant. I knew all the possibilities, and I knew all too well that not all pregnancies end in a baby in 9 months. But part of me deep down felt that this was our "take home baby", and I got a little giddy.
Here we are one year later, and as I write this I am watching our almost 4 month old little boy play on his play mat. Rolling, giggling, batting at the toys. I never imagined this day would actually arrive. It was such a far fetched thought, but it is now our reality. God is good!!!
Last year I wore this same Halloween shirt and took a picture just shortly after finding out we were pregnant. Here we are one year later with a baby on the outside all ready for his very first Halloween!

Fall Days...Sort Of

October is my favorite month. It brings in the fall, my favorite season. Growing up in Indiana fall was very different than it is here in Arizona. October meant that the leaves were starting to turn colors and cooler weather had arrived. Even though we are rocking flip flops and shorts here in October, I still love it. We may not have the change of seasons, but we still have all the fun fall activities that everyone loves. Last weekend Santi and I took Luca to the pumpkin patch to pick out his very first pumpkin for Halloween. Although he was obviously too little to understand what was going on, or what those big orange things were all about, he enjoyed getting out of the house and going on an adventure. He loves being out and about. New things to look at, fresh air, people to watch. Of course it was more of a photo opportunity for mommy and daddy than anything, but we had a good time.

Babylegs

I pink puffy heart Babylegs! Luca received a pair as a gift and I put them on him for the first time yesterday. We actually had temperatures here that dipped below 60 degrees! That's pretty chilly for Phoenix in October! Now, Santi is not a fan of said Babylegs. He thinks they are "too girly" for his little boy. I on the other hand think they are adorable on boys and girls. Plus, they are practical. Luca is hard to size when it comes to pants. He has a skinny waist and short legs. He can technically fit in newborn pants still, but is busting out of his 3 month onesies and tops. Babylegs fit perfectly in place of pants. Plus, they make diaper changing super easy because you don't have to mess with pants. I am a huge fan. Too bad I left Luca with Santi to make a grocery store run yesterday and when I can home the babylegs were off. He had supposedly pooped on them. Coincidence?

Are you really going to tell me that these aren't the cutest things you have ever seen? And look at those little toes...I just want to kiss them!

I can roll over!!!

Just the other day our little guy turned 3 months old. I posted about how he was attempting to roll over with no success. Well, I guess I spoke too soon. On Thursday morning I went into his room at 6am to get him after hearing his little coos on the monitor. In my foggy early morning state of mind I went to pick him up and was confused as to why he was on his belly. Then I realized  he must have rolled over in his sleep. Now, even though I was excited at this new developmental milestone, I had a slight moment of panic. Of course all the latest research on SIDS says "back to sleep" until age 1. Well, what on earth am I supposed to do if he rolls onto his belly in his sleep?! How will I know if he doesn't make a peep? I am actually surprised he didn't protest his new position with crying, which is what he typically does during our supervised tummy time. He really isn't a fan of being on his tummy. I guess he was just too tired. Maybe he realized it's comfortable after all. I was always a stomach sleeper before pregnancy. Oh boy...back to not getting any sleep at night. I am ashamed to admit that I actually slept with the video monitor in my hand for awhile last night...even though we also have an Angel Care breathing monitor. Yes, I am that mom.

Here is my little man practicing on his playmat. He has rolled over successfully several times since doing it in his crib. He does however get his arm stuck underneath him sometimes, which makes him mad. I was also reading the other day that babies typically learn belly to back first because back to belly is supposedly more difficult. Leave it to our child to tackle the most difficult move first.

Look who's three months old!

I cannot believe how fast my little man is growing! In just the last couple of weeks he has moved into size 6 month clothes, even though he is still skinny on the bottom and can still fit in newborn pants! He is built like his daddy I guess. He is full of smiles and giggles. We have started calling him "little owl" because he makes a sound just like an owl would make. It's precious. He is starting to be more interested in toys, and he loves his hands. Everything he can get a grip on goes into his mouth now. Just this week he has started trying to roll over (still without success, but he is putting forth a good effort!). He is also getting much better at supporting his head when he is sitting up or we are holding him. He loves to see what's going on around him, and sometimes that even means he refuses to eat because he is too busy exploring and observing. Every day he looks more and more like a little boy and less like the tiny little baby we brought home from the hospital in July. I can't believe how handsome he is. If only he could stay little forever...

Mom, This Toy is Cool

Luca got a new toy. Can you tell he likes it? It's so neat to watch him start to explore his surroundings. Just this week he really started gripping things and picking them up to get a closer look...or a taste in most cases.

Hmmm...wonder what this tastes like?

Laughs!

I should have posted this earlier, but I am just now recovering from last week. Luca had his two month shots the week before, and that was followed by an entire week of fussiness. I hate when my little man is fussy and I don't know how to soothe him. Thankfully by Friday night he was back to his normal happy self, and we even captured some of his first laughs on video! He started laughing the week prior...but we were never able to capture it. He usually gets the giggles sitting on dad's lap in the evening listening to dad make funny noises. I have even caught him giggling at Tevez a couple of times. It's just the most adorable thing in the world. 

Dear Luca

Dear Luca,
I am not sure why you have been so darn cranky the past few days. Are you growing? Not getting enough to eat? Could it be the weather? Are you too cold or too hot? Perhaps you are gassy? Whatever it is, mommy has no idea how to make it better, and it's very frustrating. Listening to you scream for a good portion of the day is exhausting, but I love you no matter what. I only want to soothe you, and it's so very heartbreaking when I can't. You don't want to swing, or hang out with me in the Moby. You don't like to be snuggled (tear), and you don't want to play. You eat and eat, but you're still not content. So little one, if you could just speak up and be clear about what it is exactly that you need, I would be more than happy to oblige and we would all feel better.

Love,
Momma

7 More Weeks...

I cannot believe I only have 7 more weeks until I have to go back to work. Although I am absolutely dreading it, I am blessed to have been able to stay home with my little man this long. As much as I hate to leave him anywhere, with anyone, I am thankful that God has provided a caretaker for Luca that I feel comfortable with and that I know will take good care of him and give him lots of love and attention when I can't be there. Since he was born in the middle of summer vacation, I basically got an extra month of maternity leave for "free". He will be 4 months old when I go back to work, and he will only have to be in daycare for a total of 5 months this whole school year, so that's another thing I have to be thankful for, but it's still hard to think about leaving my precious child all day and being away from him. Being a working mom is something I have struggled with for a long time. When Santi and I were first married we agreed that children would wait until we had both finished our education, had established ourselves in our careers, and saved up some money so that I could stay at home. I never wanted to be in a position where my children would have to go to childcare. As much as I love my career, I wanted to spend every second possible with my children. We worked very hard, both of us going to school and working full time. It wasn't easy, but we did it and we sacrificed. We knew it was important for us to be able to support a family. Unfortunately by the time Santi finished his bachelor's and I finished my master's the economy was in shambles. Our mortgage was upside down on our first home (like so many others) and Santi was having a hard time finding a better position. By that time we had been married almost three years, and we were really longing to start our family. We took a leap of faith and hoped that God would provide a way for me to stay home, even though it wasn't possible at the time. After struggling over a year to start our family (also not what we had expected), we welcomed Luca, and I was still holding out hope that somehow I would be able to stay home. Since I found out I was pregnant, I have been crunching numbers and cutting back to try to make things work. Now, with my return date looming I know that it is not in God's plans for me to stay home with Luca at this time, and I have to trust His decision. Maybe He wants me back at work because He knows the work that I am doing and the lives I am impacting in my career as a teacher. Or maybe he just wants to test my faith yet again, and in His time the right opportunity will come along for me to stay home. I feel His whisper at times telling me that I will be able to stay home with Luca, and He will provide all we need, but I have to be patient. All I can do for now is trust Him with our finances, remain faithful with the tithe, and pray that he will bless us for our hard work. Sure it's frustrating to know how hard Santi and I both work, and yet we are still unable to afford for me to stay home. It's frustrating knowing that we aren't living lavish lifestyles, and yet the bills are still barely paid each month. It's frustrating knowing that we both went to school for a long time, and borrowed a lot of money, and we may never see a return on our investment. I have to believe that it's all a part of His plan, and honestly we are truly blessed. I know money doesn't buy happiness...but it's hard to say that when money is what would allow me to stay home with my child.