Let's Just Be Honest

The other day I came across a new blog I am now following, and a post that made me say "Wow, I needed to hear that." I have been meaning to blog about it since I read it, and then our laptop charger decided to quit on us so needless to say blogging hasn't been possible lately.
You can read her full post here: She Breathes Deeply
I couldn't agree more with the majority of the things she talks about in her post, and to be honest it felt like a weight was lifted off of me...just hearing that other moms think and feel the same why I do. One of the most difficult things about being a new mom is that no one is ever completely honest with you about just how difficult it is! Yes, I was expecting sleepless nights, worrying over everything, a change in dynamics in our marriage, and a lack of "me time"...but I had no idea the kind of pressure and anxiety I would feel. I think the pressure has been the hardest thing for me. All of a sudden, I had this new role to add to my other roles as a wife and teacher. And there were certain expectations for this new role, and all of a sudden I was struggling to figure out how to balance it all. Every new mom, especially in today's society where the internet and technology make it so easy to connect with other moms, compares themselves to their friends, strangers, their own mom. When I was pregnant, I spent a lot of time on The Bump website. I got to "know" a lot of moms and moms-to-be through their message boards, and have even met a couple in person now. While the friendships I have developed there and the support I have found are such a blessing, I also found a lot of pressure there. The same goes with so many of the mommy blogs I started following, books I have read,  friends that are moms, moms from church, moms in my own family, and moms I work with. I felt pressure to be a "super mom", and for many women today that means a natural birthing, exclusively breastfeeding, babywearing, cloth diapering, homemade baby food making, co-sleeping, stay at home mom. Well, the reality is, that's not reality for many moms. And that's okay. It is taking time for me to accept that it's okay if I can only breastfeed for a few months, I am blessed that I have been able to do it at all. It's okay if I don't find breastfeeding to be this special, magical experience. I see it more as a sacrifice for my son, a gift. It's okay if he hates being "worn" in the Moby and would rather sprawl out on his playmat alone. He's independent. It's okay if I have to use disposable diapers. Let's face it, what working mom has time for hand washing diapers!? It's okay if I buy baby food in a jar. It's okay if I am still hanging on to 20lbs of my baby weight at 2 months postpartum and I am no where near getting back into my old clothes. It's okay if my house is a mess and dinner sometimes comes from the freezer...or a box...or is delivered to our door. And probably the biggest thing for me to accept...it's okay to be a working mom. Luca is going to love me just the same. 

The Time Has Come...

To lose weight. I have always been a petite gal, and I have never been overweight. Sure I put on a few extra pounds in college, and during the months I was coping with our miscarriages and trying to conceive I was a little on the chubbier side, but never overweight. Yes I know I just had a baby 6 weeks ago and it takes time to lose the weight, but I am ready to get started! I am ashamed to admit that I allowed myself to pack on nearly 50lbs during my pregnancy. Wow. That's tough to say. I had always told myself prior to becoming pregnant that I would stay active during my pregnancy and only gain the recommended amount of weight. Well, I was so anxious about everything during my pregnancy, and any form of exercise beyond walking just made me a nervous wreck. I know that sounds crazy, but after two losses I was not about to do anything that could possibly jeopardize another pregnancy. When I was working the weight gain was minimal because I was on my feet teaching kindergarten all day and busy, busy, busy. Towards the end of my pregnancy is when I started gaining fast. Sure I swelled up like a blimp, so a lot of it was water weight, but it also didn't help that the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy fell during the beginning of summer vacation and I sat around in the AC all day stuffing my face. Well, what's done is done. I am less than thrilled with the way I look now, but I have an amazing little boy to show for it.
On Monday I was given the go ahead by my doctor to start exercising, and I have started really watching what I eat. I am going to be totally up front and open about my weight on here so that I have some accountability on this journey. Before I got pregnant my weight hovered around 118-122, which was even a few more pounds than I would have liked. At my last prenatal visit before I went into labor I weighed in at a whopping 169lbs. Yeah. My first day home from the hospital I was at 157lbs. As of Monday's doctor's visit I was down to 143lbs. So that's 26lbs that I have lost since delivery. I still have a little more than 20lbs to go to be where I would like. Santi is joining me on this weight loss journey. He lost about 25lbs before Luca arrived, and he still has more to lose, so it will be nice to have a partner to keep me motivated. I have to be honest, I am a little overwhelmed by the task ahead since this is my first venture with weight loss. I will keep you posted on how things are going...

Num Nums

I have become quite the foodie over the last year or so. I love cooking, trying new recipes, and I am obsessed with Food Network. My favorite recipe blogs are Gina's Skinny Taste and Annie's Eats. Now that I am on Pinterest, I started a "Num Nums" board. Check it out. My Num Nums Board

Personally, I think the turkey meatloaf "cupcakes" are going to be next on my list of new recipes to try.

I mean, seriously?!

Sunday Blessings

Before Luca arrived, I set a goal to blog more regularly and to get more creative with my blogging. I also wanted to have some regular weekly posts. To be honest, I am not great at keeping up with regular posts like some of my blogging friends, but I really want to make an effort. I love blogging. It's my outlet. Since I began this blog four years ago I have had periods that were just uninspired and other times when I had so much going on all I wanted to do was blog. Now as a new mom I feel like I have recovered my passion for blogging. I have so much on my mind and so much to share. This new phase in life is so full of new experiences and inspirations.
One of the "regular" posts I tried to start before Luca arrived was Sunday blessings. I wanted to take a moment each Sunday to come up with at least one thing I am thankful for. One blessing among many in my life. One "shout out" to my awesome God, full of mercy and grace.
Now this particular Sunday I have finances on my mind. Not too different from any other day of the week honestly. When we found out we were expecting Luca, we began saving for my maternity leave because I knew I wanted to take the full 12 weeks, even if it was unpaid. We decided we would just put away enough money to live off for those weeks, plus cover the expenses of the hospital bill and any baby expenses we might encounter. We thought we had plenty saved up and I was feeling good about taking all this time off work. Well we all know things don't always go as planned...in fact, they rarely do. Since Luca's arrival, in addition to the couple thousand dollars we had already dropped on the hospital and doctor bills (the amount they had given us initially as an estimate), we have received additional doctor or hospital bills almost every other day in the mail it seems like. Partly because of the issues I had towards the end of my pregnancy that resulted in extra ultrasounds, and party because when it comes to doctors they are never up front about what you really are going to have to pay. What we had estimated for medical expenses has doubled easily. Additionally, we have had not one, but three incidents with our cars that required repair. Tack on another thousand. The money we had saved for my leave is quickly disappearing, and part of me wants to feel really anxious about how we are going to pay the bills for the next 10 or so weeks of my leave. But then I remember that I serve a generous God...and He provides. I have to remember that. So, my Sunday blessing for today: our fridge is full of food, we have clothes on our backs, and a roof over our head. I am not sure how we are going to stretch out our savings until I get paid again...but I do know that He knows. We have been faithfully tithing for over a year now, and I know He will take care of us. He can do more with 90% than we can with 100%. I am ready to watch Him work. We are blessed.

Our New Retreat

My father-in-law rocks. Every time he comes out to visit he does something around the house that we have been meaning to do and haven't gotten around to. Well, I have been dying to freshen up our master bedroom for awhile now. We have lived in our house for three years, and I have never been a fan of our master bedroom. For some reason I thought it would be a great idea to paint it chocolate brown and teal when we moved in. In theory maybe a good idea, in actuality it was kind of ugly and dark. After we were finished, I just decided to leave it and see if it grew on me. It didn't. We decided to take advantage of my father-in-law's visit this past week and ask him to repaint the room for us. It went from this:

To this...

We also updated it with some new shelves and mirrors from IKEA, as well as a new comforter I found on clearance at T.J.Maxx. We spent about $250 total on the makeover, and it really turned out great! It looks so fresh and new...perfect for this new phase in our lives!