Dear Luca

Dear Luca,
Time seems to slip by so fast these days. Last month you officially turned 2 and a half. As soon as you go to bed at night I miss you. I guess that's why I really haven't minded the fact that you have ended up in our bed almost every night for the last week. I love staying up late at night and flipping through photos of you on my phone. In just a year you have grown and changed so much. You are talking up a storm...and that sweet baby face all of a sudden doesn't look so babyish. That adorable diaper butt waddling around the house is gone, and big boy undies fill my laundry basket. I love watching you change and seeing your personality develop more and more as you become the little person God created you to be. But man some days I miss my tiny little baby. You hardly fit on my lap anymore when we rock in the chair at night. You can be such a stinker, and the "the terrible twos" get the best of you at times...but you can also be so, so, so sweet. The other night you held my face in your hands and said "I'll never leave you" and my heat melted (for the millionth time since you were born). You are still obsessed with monster trucks. We took you to Monster Jam a couple of weeks ago and it was worth every penny to see your face light up when we walked into the stadium filled with life-size versions of your favorite toys. Yesterday I asked if you wanted to take your monster trucks inside to wash (you have been loving having "car washes") but you told me that "monster trucks live in the sand". You of course haven't given up your love of sports yet either. You love dressing up in your jerseys, cleats, shin guards, and even a bicycle helmet you call your football helmet. I can't wait to watch you play on a team one day. I hope that you know how much I love you. And I always will. I will always be there for you, and when life gets you down you can always come to me. I LOVE YOU!!!!

One Day at a Time

A new year is upon us and as I reflect on the previous year, I am thankful for the lessons learned and the memories made. It wasn't the easiest year, but we got through it and I am ready to set some big goals for 2014. I mean WOW goals. Goals that I know can only be possible to reach if God shows up in a big way. And I like that. Last year as we welcomed 2013, I prayed for an easy year. I wanted just one year without major life changes. Since we were married it seemed as though life was crazy and every year we had something big going on. Wedding, moving across the country, starting careers, building a house, grad school, travel, pregnancy loss, bringing Luca into our lives, new jobs. While I can say we didn't have major life changes in 2013, we had our share of challenges. But those challenges have helped us to reevaluate our goals for our family's future. And I don't think I will pray for an "easy" year again. It felt like we were stagnant. If big things aren't happening in your life on the regular, it's too easy to fall into complacency. I am ready for God to move this year!
So, what exactly our our goals for 2014? I don't like resolutions because they seem to cliche, so I am just setting a goal to take things one day at a time. How's that? I feel like if I can take each day as it comes and do the best I can with what I have in that moment, God will take care of the rest. But part of that means making different choices each day than we have in the past. One of our biggest goals this year involves our financial situation. While I know we have the power to make some simple changes to improve our situation, I also know that we will be praying for God to intervene in some areas. Part of changing our financial situation involves a potential BIG move for us...so stay tuned for that one.

Thankful

This fall has been a blur, and I can't believe Christmas is just around the corner! I need to take a minute to catch up with the blog, and really life in general. We just enjoyed a week long visit from my parents for Thanksgiving, and it was so wonderful to have them here. They took Luca to the zoo and he loved all the quality time with them. It's always so special to watch Luca with my parents, and I hope that soon we will be closer so we can spend a lot more time together. It's getting more and more difficult to be away from our families and every time we do get to be together it just motivates us even more to find a way to get back to Indiana. We are hoping that it will happen soon, and I know that if it's in God's plans for us that He will make a way. For now we have to keep on trucking and wait for His response to our petitions. It's hard sitting here alone with Luca in front of the Christmas tree waiting for Santi to get home from work. I wish I could just pop on over to my parent's house or my brother's house to hang out. But for now I have to be patient. So I will try. I feel that He has big things on the horizon for us. I believe that. Aside from being able to spend Thanksgiving with my parents here, we have many more things to be thankful for this year. So I want to put out the many many positives in our lives and take a moment to truly be thankful where we are in this very moment.

1. Our son Luca-He is such a sweet and loving little boy, smart, funny, and always keeps me on my toes. We struggled to start our family, and there were many many days I cried and cried praying for a baby and worrying that it would never happen for us. But here he is, and he is HEALTHY and HAPPY and every day with him is a joy.

2. Our marriage-We have been together almost 10 years, and married for 6. We are best friends, and we make a great team. I love the couple we have become and our relationship continues to grow each and every day. Our differences really bring something unique and special to our marriage and I am thankful for that.

3. Our dog-Tevez has been a part of our lives since he was a puppy, and he is our first "baby". For the last 6 years he has shown us what true unconditional love is. His carefree and happy-go-lucky attitude always brings a smile to my face.

4. Our home-We built this home together the year after we were married, and while we have had our ups and downs with our decision to build this home, it has severed us well and we have made many special memories together here. I am so thankful that we have been able to own our own home at such a young age, and that we were able to weather the real estate storm here.

5. Our families-We both have incredible families that love and support us in everything we do. We both have parents that are still married after 30+ years who have been excellent examples to us. Our families are truly a blessing.

6. Our jobs-While they may not always be easy, we are thankful to have income that supports our family and even allows us to do some special things once in awhile. And I am thankful for a flexible job that allows me a lot of time off to spend with Luca.

7. Luca's Childcare-It's not easy being a working mom, and every day I struggle with that decision, but we are so blessed with childcare that is like family to us. Every day I know that Luca is thriving at Great Beginnings with teachers that show him the love of Christ each and every day.

8. Teaching-(I guess this one only applies to me) Being a teacher is the most difficult job I have ever loved. Every day brings new challenges, and sometimes heartaches, but my students over the last 7 years have taught me more than I could ever imagine. Sometimes I feel that I get more back than I give. I have been blessed with some truly special students whose names and faces will have a special place in my heart forever. I have also been fortunate to work with some amazingly inspirational and supportive colleagues.

9. Health-After many health struggles in the last year, I am thankful that we are all currently healthy and doing well. Aside from a few colds here and there, we have made it through the start of cold and flu season unaffected and I pray this continues.

10. Our God-This is last on my list but that is not indicative of His place in our lives. I am so grateful for a God that loves us unconditionally and blesses us beyond measure each and every day. His presence in our life is a blessing each and every day, and even though too often we fail to recognize His daily gifts, they are abundant every day of the year.

Dear Luca

Dear Luca,
Here we are at 27 months and you are full of new surprises every day. I love watching you grow into this incredibly special little person. You are SO loved. The terrible twos sometimes get the best of you, but this too shall pass and my little boy is growing up so fast! Slow down time! You are talking up a storm. Sometimes I feel like I am talking to a 4 or 5 year old, and people are still always commenting on how well you speak. We went out for our traditional frozen yogurt date on Friday after school and the lady could not believe she heard you speaking in Spanish and English as you asked for your favorite toppings (this time you wanted all things red). I am always so proud when I hear strangers make comments like that. On the way home from getting frozen yogurt you were telling me all about "transportation"...and yes you used that word. You were listing all of the different types of transportation that you know. Last night you were playing with a flash light in the dark and finding imaginary "pattapillars" and you even found an imaginary rattle snake in the toilet! EEEEK! You also ended up in mommy and daddy's bed after a "robot" scared you in your room. Your imagination is growing so much every day! You still love monster trucks, and of course sports. Playtime almost always involves some type of ball. I don't see that changing any time soon. You have also been a little stinker at the store, and you think it's quite fun to run away. And you are getting too fast! This week since we are home on fall break we are working on potty training. It's been interesting so far. You are awfully stubborn, even though I know you can do it! We will keep working...considering you just thought it was hilarious to pee on the carpet earlier. We love you so much Luca. You are truly a gift and a blessing and I can't imagine life without you. Never forget how much you are loved. YOU ARE LOVED.

Love,

Mommy

A New Season

Not only are we experiencing a new season outside (FINALLY fall has arrived in the valley), but I feel like we are moving towards a new season in our family. In August I turned the big 3-0. It kind of slipped right by me with little acknowledgement. Having a birthday in the first week of school (on the second day none the less) really makes celebrating and enjoying it difficult. On top of that, shortly after my birthday we were hit by some pretty serious medical issues with Santi that left him out of work for 7 weeks. Thankfully we are now getting back to normal, but it was a rough time there for awhile. But I feel like I need to go back and dive into my feelings about turning 30, look back on the last decade, and talk about what I feel that God has in store for me and for our family in the coming months. I can't deny the fact that over the last couple of months since all of this has happened, God has come in an shaken up our family in a HUGE way. Have you ever experienced one of those big God moments in your life? Suddenly everything is clear, even when your world feels like it's been turned upside down and inside out. The last time our lives were shaken up like this and God worked through our pain and fears was when we were going through our pregnancy losses. While dealing with medical issues is extremely stressful, not only because I was worried deeply about the person that I love so much, but because I was also tasked with being two parents at once while working full-time. But despite how exhausting and overwhelming the last 7 weeks have been, I can look back now that the smoke has cleared and say THANK YOU God. THANK YOU! Not only have our eyes been opened to God's plan and purpose for our family in the coming months as well as the desires of our hearts, but we have grown closer together and developed a deeper love and understanding for one another. While the desire to return to Indiana has always been there (especially since Luca was born), it was made very clear that we need to adjust our priorities in our lives right now and be close to our families. We realized just how desperately we want Luca to have his grandparents and cousins around. How important those relationships are, and how much our lives would be changed if we were closer. Not only that but we strongly desire to have more children (God willing) and we know the value of having family nearby when we take on that endeavor. We don't know yet what this will look like for us in the months ahead, and all we can do at this point is trust in Him and allow Him to guide our decisions. I know that if this is truly His will for us, He will make a way. We will get more serious about the job search and selling the house come spring, but for now we are truly excited about the possibilities that lie ahead.
Even though I turned 30 with little thought, I know that it is a big milestone and that the next decade is going to hold a lot of big things for our family. I know it's going to take a lot of hard work, but I can't wait to see what He has in store. Looking back on the last ten years it's crazy to think about everything I have accomplished and experienced. Ten years ago I had just turned 20 and was settling into my first apartment. I was in my second year of college and still trying to find my way. At 21 I let go of some of my past that was holding me back and I took a big chance and went to Mexico alone for the summer. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life and I am so thankful I did it. Shortly after I returned from Mexico I met Santiago, and from there my life really began to change. At 22 I was engaged to be married and graduated from college. At 23 I married my best friend and we began our journey together as husband and wife. At 24 I began my teaching career in Arizona. At 25 we moved into our first home together and traveled to Ecuador for the first time. At 26 we lost our first two pregnancies. At 27 I completed my Master's degree and became pregnant with and gave birth to our first son Luca. At 28 I landed a new teaching position at one of the best districts in the state. And here I am now at 30, waiting to see what exciting things my 30's will hold. I can hardly wait!