Whoa...did all that just happen?!

I woke up this morning to the aftermath of Christmas scattered all around my house, and I realized it's all over. I also realized I have not updated the blog once since mid November. I guess the busy holiday season got the best of me. I really was hoping to do a better job of keeping it updated for Luca's sake. He has grown and changed so much in the last month. I can't believe he will be 6 months old next week. His first year is just flying by. Sometimes I get emotional holding my little one in my arms at night just wondering where that tiny little baby went.

November and December have just flown by in a blur of work, visitors, holiday events, parties, sickness, and milestones. I went back to work on November 1st, and since then one of us has been sick with something almost every week. Luca is still battling his second cold, we all three had the stomach flu, I had food poisoning, and Luca also broke out head to toe in eczema. It's been a rough couple of months! In the midst of all that illness, we have had a slew of visitors and celebrated Luca's first Thanksgiving and Christmas. Since I fell behind on my posts, here is a photo timeline of Luca's first holiday season:

At 4.5 months we started Luca on some solids. He loved it in case you couldn't tell. So far he has tried bananas, avocados, pears, cereal, and a little bit of mango gelato. Can you guess which is his favorite?

Luca celebrated his first Thanksgiving with a visit from his Great Uncle Jerry and Great Aunt Mariana. He loved all the attention. 

Luca loved all the excitement and magic of his first Christmas. We took him to Home Plate for the Holidays at the Goodyear Ballpark where he saw Santa and snow and had his first real experience with cold weather! We also enjoyed the Tolleson Luces de Navidad parade and he was absolutely mesmerized by the police motorcycles. The kid loves lights and sound. He also loved scooting himself under the Christmas tree and pulling on the branches in an attempt to get to the lights. 

Luca's cousin Ruthi came out to visit for Christmas and they got to meet for the first time. They are just 4 months apart. It was so great spending time with my parents, Andrew, Candice, and Ruthi. We all had a great time together and even had a professional photo shoot of everyone together. I can't wait to see how they turned out! 

As 2012 quickly approaches I am so excited to see what the new year will bring. 2011 was such an incredible year, and we were so blessed with the arrival of our little boy. I am looking forward to watching him continue to grow and change over the next year. I am sure many more special memories are ahead. God is good!!!!

The Life of a Working Mom

As I approach the end of my third week as a working mom, I can't really say it's gotten any easier. Sure we have established a routine now, and I am getting used to the craziness of teaching all day and coming home to play mom all evening, but being away from my baby boy all day will never be easy. I know he is well cared for all day, and he is always all smiles when I pick him up, but I can't help that nagging feeling that I am supposed to be the one loving on him all day. I feel like I am missing so much. I love teaching, and it will always be my passion, but it will never compare to being Luca's momma. And I feel like I can't be the teacher I want to be while being the best mom I can be. I can teach for the rest of my life, and I will probably always be involved in education in one way or another, but my baby is only going to be a baby for so long. Even though there are moments I wish I could press fast forward (like to a time when I no longer have to haul a breast pump around all day and spend every spare moment pumping), I know that these moments are so fleeting, and I want to cherish every gummy grin.
Then there's the teacher heart in me that is breaking with my class this year. I have 36 students total that I see each day. 36 little lives that I am responsible for teaching, loving, and molding. 36 children with needs far beyond what I can ever meet. Even if I wasn't a busy mom, this would be a very challenging year. Every single child in my class this year has so many needs. Emotional, academic, social. It devastates me that I cannot do it all. I can't be everything to everyone, and let's be honest I am giving the best of me to my own child and my own family. And that's what I need to do. But that doesn't change my deep desire to meet each and every child's needs that I come in contact with every day. How can you look at an innocent child that for whatever reason is not having certain needs met and just wash your hands clean of them? I can't. And I don't like feeling defeated. I don't like to just give up. But I have come to the conclusion that I cannot parent every one of my students, and so I may just have to be unpopular with some of the parents this year when I demand that they step up to the plate.
I have been doing some serious soul searching in these last few weeks, and let's just say I have a lot to think about in the months ahead.

One Year Ago Today

Last year on this date, we found out we were expecting for the third time. Luckily for us, the third time proved to be the charm and we are so blessed with our precious little Luca. I remember that morning like it was yesterday. It was a Saturday morning and we were supposed to be volunteering at the food bank helping to paint and do some general clean up work. We were obviously trying to conceive after our two losses, and it was time to take a test. I had really wanted to wait until Halloween for some odd reason, but I just knew I was pregnant and didn't want to take a risk by inhaling paint fumes and doing heavy lifting all morning at the food bank if I was indeed pregnant. I didn't even have to wait for the second line to show up, I knew I was pregnant. Sure enough, there were those pretty two pink lines glaring back at me. And just to be sure...I also took a digital. I just love seeing that little word "pregnant" pop up on the screen. I remember feeling a range of emotions that morning. Of course one of the most prominent being fear. After having gone through two previous miscarriages, there is always the nagging thought that this one might not "stick" either. I didn't want to be too excited, and I was no longer that naive person I was the first time I got pregnant. I knew all the possibilities, and I knew all too well that not all pregnancies end in a baby in 9 months. But part of me deep down felt that this was our "take home baby", and I got a little giddy.
Here we are one year later, and as I write this I am watching our almost 4 month old little boy play on his play mat. Rolling, giggling, batting at the toys. I never imagined this day would actually arrive. It was such a far fetched thought, but it is now our reality. God is good!!!
Last year I wore this same Halloween shirt and took a picture just shortly after finding out we were pregnant. Here we are one year later with a baby on the outside all ready for his very first Halloween!

Dear Luca

Dear Luca,
Right now you are napping peacefully in your swing after almost an entire week of refusing to nap during the day. You are just so interested in what's going on around you, you don't want to miss a thing! We have been spending a lot of time on your favorite play mat, and this past week I even got out a big blanket to put under it since you have been rolling and scooting all around the living room. I have so much fun just watching you explore. I would say we could add letter links to your list of favorite toys now. You could play with those for hours. I hope you enjoyed all of our trips to the park this week. The weather has been gorgeous in the mornings and the heat is finally starting to subside. I love going to the park with you and showing you off to all the other neighborhood mommies. You are so well behaved, and you just love being outside in the fresh air observing all the kids on the playground.
I have one more week at home with you and I am feeling pretty sad. I love being with you every moment of every day. It's so hard to think about being away from you. But I want you to know that even when we can't be together I am thinking of you every second and counting the minutes until I can see you. Even though your daddy and I would love for me to stay home with you, we also know that you will do well at your new daycare. You will learn new things, make new friends, and have lots of different toys to play with. You will become more independent, and the time we are together will be even more special. I know one day you will understand, and you will be proud of me for being a working mom. You will be proud that every day when I have to be away from you, I am making an impact in the lives of lots of other children. You will be proud that your mommy has such an important job.
Every day I hope and pray that God will provide a way for me to be home with you, and I have to have faith that one day he will answer that prayer, but in the meantime please don't ever forget how much your momma loves you.

Love,
Momma

Weight Loss Update...and Confession

So this week I was terrible at getting in my 30 Day Shred workout. The temperature has finally dropped below 100 degrees outside, and I have been spending my mornings at the neighborhood park with some of the neighborhood mommies or walking the dog. Plus, this week Luca has been on a napping strike during the day. He hasn't been fussy, just wide awake and not at all interested in napping. Needless to say my workouts have suffered...as well as the house cleaning. Oh well, it just means more time with my favorite little guy! That being said, I had somehow dropped down to 133.4 at my last weigh in. Now, I am certain that has gone up a bit due to my slacking off this week, but I hope I can get going in the right direction again soon. I go back to work in a week (ahhhhh!) so I am really going to have to push myself to fit it all in. I will finish the 30 Day Shred, I will finish the 30 Day Shred....