Mommy Fail

It's been a month since I blogged!!!! I know, I have been a real slacker. Mommy fail. Let's just say that the last month has been a very busy one. Our favorite little guy is growing like a weed. Those two bottom teeth are all the way in now, and man is it CUTE! I can't stand it! I wish I had more time to keep on every little detail of his first year because every single moment is so special. I get so wrapped up in the day to day things and I am so afraid of missing something. I can't believe his first Easter is just around the corner. We picked up his basket (ok, the Easter Bunny brought it) last week. Of course it has all sorts of sports things on it. Mommy may have eaten all the candy out of it already. I am dying to take him to see the Easter Bunny this weekend. Daddy thinks it's a terrible idea since he has some serious stranger anxiety at this age. Hey, it's a right of passage, and we skipped out on the whole Santa thing. Hopefully I can get some time to pick out an Easter outfit for him and we'll make it to the mall.
This past month, in addition to hitting the 8 month mark and getting his first two teeth, he also had his first trip to the zoo, stuck his toes in the pool, and started his new daycare. He has also added several "real" foods to his menu, including guacamole from Chipotle which he LOVED. He knows the good stuff! Spring break was such a welcome reprieve and I am so thankful that Santi had some time off work so we could enjoy some family time together. It was much needed!
 I cannot believe he will already be 9 months old in another week or so. That is just crazy. He has mastered the army crawl, and he is trying so hard to get going on all fours. He will get himself up, but then he isn't quite sure how to get moving. He is also desperate to pull himself to standing and will practically do a head stand attempting to get on his feet. I have a feeling I am going to wake up one day and he is going to be running through the house. It seems like these things just happen over night. Last week we booked our trip to Indiana for his 1st birthday, and I realized that we have not left the city of Phoenix in over a year (except our one mommy and daddy weekend in Vegas)! Man, having a baby really does change your life! I am so excited to take Luca to Indiana for the first time, and I am really excited that he will finally get to meet his great grandparents. I am sure he will have quite the turn out for his big day. I can't wait!
Along with watching Luca grow, I have been busy milling over some big life decisions. After a LOT, and I mean a LOT, of thinking and praying I have made the difficult decision to leave my current school district at the end of this year. I have spent five years at my school, worked with some amazing teachers, taught some wonderful kids, met some great families, and learned a lot about myself as an educator and as a person. It's going to be very bittersweet walking out those doors for the last time in May, but I feel that God is calling me in a new direction. I am not sure exactly what that means, but I am going to trust in Him and see what he has in store for me. He has never lead me astray, and I am sure it's something fantastic. I am still anxious, but excited at the same time.
Thanks for reading, and here is some serious cuteness for your time:

Dear Luca

Dear Sweet Baby Boy,
I can only call you that for a few more months it seems. The thought of you being a toddler and not a baby anymore brings tears to my eyes. When did you get so big? This past week I saw two little teeth poking through your gums. Your adorable little gummy grin is about to be replaced with a toothy big boy smile. I cannot believe it. It seems like we brought you home from the hospital only yesterday. Would you please slow down already?! Oh, and then there's the army crawling. All of a sudden you are mobile, and the world is at your fingertips. You can no longer be contained, which means mommy and daddy don't get to relax much (as if we did anyways). You are getting faster every day with your army crawl, and poor Tevez is always trying to escape when he sees you headed his way. It cracks me up when you take off after his toys. As if you didn't have a million toys lying around. Apparently the dog's toys are much more interesting. I guess all the extra exercise is wearing you out, because you have also slept through the night for two nights in a row. Thank you!!! I guess you knew that mommy was starting to get pretty worn out. I can't wait for summer break when you and I can just hang out every day like we used to. I miss that. I hate having to work, and I hope you know that I would much rather be home with you enjoying every single second. I know you are going to love going to the pool this summer. You just love the bath tub. Well, I am off to look for more ideas for your 1st birthday party. Yes, I realize it's over 4 months away, but I can't wait to put together the best celebration ever! But please don't let it come too fast...

We love you baby boy!!!!

Mommy and Papi

Confession

I need my smart phone back. Ok, I don't need it, but I really, really, really want one again. Santi got an iphone 4s yesterday, and I am slightly jealous. Ok, I am really jealous. I used to have a smart phone. Just a simple Droid, nothing fancy. I got rid of it before Luca arrived thinking I was going to be all money wise and save the $30 a month we were paying in data. I figured with a baby around there wouldn't be much time for playing on a fancy phone. Not to mention I was worried about what said baby might do to an expensive phone. Well, after about 10 months without my smart phone I have decided maybe I need to rejoin the 21st century. I hate that my dumb phone can't take any decent pictures. When you have an adorable 7 month old that is always doing cute things, you just want to be able to grab a camera and snap away. When the camera is not handy, I am out of luck. I also want to do more blogging, mainly because this is the only way I am recording all the events of Luca's first year. I skipped the whole baby book thing and decided I would keep this blog as my way of remembering all those special moments. I want to write more, and mostly I want to be able to quickly send pictures to the computer and blog away. I want to quickly and easily capture every second of my baby's life, because let's face it, he is growing way too fast and the baby phase isn't going to last much longer! So...I am thinking of taking Santi's old Droid Incredible for the time being, and hopefully becoming one of the cool kids with an iphone in December when I can upgrade again. I hope this means more blogging and more pictures of the world's cutest baby!

7 Months and So Many Changes

Wow. On Sunday our precious little baby turned 7 months old. Not only that, but in a matter of days he became an expert at sitting (no more toppling over), learned how to wave hi, and started army crawling forward and backward. I think it's time to finish the baby-proofing. I cannot believe how fast he is growing. My heart melts when I see pictures of him as a newborn. It seems like I blinked and that tiny baby doubled in size. Life has changed so much since he arrived, and even though balancing the demands of motherhood and a full time job is exhausting, I would do it over and over again. Luca has filled our lives with so much joy. He is such an incredible blessing.
While Luca is busy reaching milestones and changing every day, I am dealing with changes of my own. I have been praying for a long time for God to provide a way for me to stay at home with Luca. It makes me sick knowing that half of my paycheck goes to childcare and that I could be spending my days with him instead of other people's children. I struggle with this every.single.day. While I love teaching, I don't want to look back and regret the time I have missed with him. I am thankful that I am in a career that gives me 3 months off every year, but it's still not enough. So, as contract time approaches I am spending a lot of time praying for God to guide my decision and give me peace about it. I don't know what the future holds, and I am trying to remind myself daily that He is faithful. That He knows our deepest desires and has our best in mind. I am feeling called to take yet another leap of faith in life, and just like the last one, I am sure it won't be without struggles, but I know that He will provide. He is good. He is faithful. I am reminded of that every day when I look into the eyes of my precious rainbow baby (a rainbow baby refers to a baby born after a loss).

6 months EBF and still going strong!

I have been wanting to blog this for a couple of weeks, but life has been hectic and the blog has taken a backseat. I am just now getting around to updating, but on January 5th I hit a big goal that I had made for myself before Luca was born; a goal I really doubted I would be able to achieve. Luca has been exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of his life, AND I am still doing it! He has never had a drop of formula (and there is absolutely nothing wrong with formula, I was a formula baby), and it feels like such a great achievement to know that I was able to give him that precious gift for his health and development. When he was first born I thought I wouldn't make it past 3 weeks of breastfeeding. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It was physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. I will be honest I hated it at first. In the beginning I had to set little goals and take it day by day, but I pushed on because I knew it was best for him and I was thankful that I was physically able to nurse my child. It wasn't this magical special time with my child that so many people had told me it would be. Being the sole provider of nutrition for my child was overwhelming and exhausting. He depended on me and me alone for food, and it was a big job.
When I went back to work I was certain I wouldn't make my 6 month EBF goal. I was so overwhelmed with the idea of having to pump at work when I knew my days were already packed. Once I went back I took it day by day again, and eventually got into a pumping routine. Thankfully I had a decent freezer stash from my maternity leave, which helped to supplement on days when my supply was low.
Six months later, I am not crazy about being tied to a pump and having to revolve my whole life around pumping, but I will say that I have changed my mind about the time I spend nursing Luca. Every day I look forward to nursing him after work, and nursing him to sleep at night. That's my time with him. Time when he is quiet and still, and it's just the two of us. Sometimes we just stare at each other, other times I watch him sleep peacefully while he nurses and it is the best feeling. I even look forward to him waking in the middle of the night sometimes because I love sitting in the quiet darkness of his nursery with him.
My next goal is to make it to one year before I wean him. I know I can do it. Sure it will mean more sacrificing, but I know that it is worth it. I will be glad to throw the pump out the window when I am done (or perhaps reenact the scene from Office Space where he takes the baseball bat to the copy machine), but until then I am going to keep on pumping!