Crazy Train

I guess it's time for an update. I guess the title explains how I am currently feeling. These last few months have been BIG...and I feel that my New Year's prayer for 2014 is in the process of coming to fruition. I prayed that in 2014 God would do something big in our lives. That we would have a WOW moment with God. We felt strongly that He was calling us to move back to Indiana. Now, just a few years ago I would have said "NO WAY!". Even still I feel conflicted. But I am going to listen to God's calling and take a leap of faith yet again. So we put our house up for sale in a very wonky market. We essentially quit our jobs (Santi is actually just transferring). And we are really going to do this. We are going to say goodbye to the place we have called home since we were newlyweds. The place we begin our journey as husband and wife. The place we started our careers. The place we built our first home. The place we finished school. The place Luca was born. Just like that. I have a lot of mixed emotions and the feeling is definitely bittersweet, but I also am beyond excited to begin a new stage in life back in Indiana. Back to my roots. Back to family. In the meantime, we have less than 7 weeks to pack up, either sell or rent this home, finish out my last school year here, and say our goodbyes. And just to add a little more crazy in, I decided to take a summer job in Bloomington back at the YMCA. Now that's weird to say. Oh yeah, and I kind of have to be there the Tuesday after school gets out. I really am crazy. I am seriously already exhausted. Right now the biggest stress has been the house. It would be an incredible blessing to just sell it. I am so tired of having to keep it show ready while working full time and taking care of a two year old. But we have a firm asking price that we need to stick to so we can just walk away. We lost one offer already, which was so disappointing, but I have to trust that if the right offer doesn't come that God will put renters in our path and hopefully we can sell and come out on top in a couple of years. It's just the waiting and the uncertainty that's killing me right now. I am just so overwhelmed with everything that has to fall into place over the next 7 weeks. We are having an open house next Sunday, so I am going to be praying that our buyer shows up.
Besides all the craziness of moving across the country, we are also preparing for all the craziness of the end of a school year, spring programs, field trips, Easter celebrations. Oh, and we also decided to swing one last trip to California with Luca before we move. Who knows when we will get to enjoy SoCal again. And Grandpa will be there, so of course we are excited to spend time with him. And we are going to bite the bullet and take Luca to Disneyland. I hope he loves it.
Speaking of Luca. He is quite the funny little guy. He is constantly coming up with "ideas" and "suggestions". I have no clue where he gets his huge vocabulary, but he never ceases to amaze me with the things that come out of his mouth. I feel a little guilty lately that we have been so wrapped up in moving and selling this house that our quality time hasn't been what I would like it to be. It's so hard, and we are so exhausted. And he has been refusing to go to sleep at night, which does't help. I feel so torn because I don't mind giving him that extra snuggle time, in fact I love it. But then I lose any time I have in the evening to pack, clean, grade, and all of the other things that have to happen for us to move in 7 weeks. I am just so ready to be in Indiana and for things to settle down. I am also hoping and praying that this move means God will finally answer the prayer I have had since the day I found out I was expecting Luca. I want more time with him. I want to be able to focus on him. Time is flying by. Every day he looks and talks more like a preschooler than a two year old. I can't handle it. I am thankful for our weekly froyo dates on Fridays, and I cherish those moments. I just hope we have many more moments like that coming our way.

 Goodbye Arizona...


On another note, I have somehow been able to pick up running again in the last 3 months. I started running with some coworkers after school, and I am proud to say I am back to my college running level in just 3 short months. I even ran a 5k (first one in 10 years!) at the beginning of March. I am hoping I can keep it up in the midst of this craziness. Finding the time is tough, but running is good for my soul...and my sanity.

That Moment When God Speaks

At the start if this year I blogged about our prayers for God to WOW us. For Him to show up in a big way. Things have been stirring in my heart since August and my prayers have been continual. I feel God asking us to take a huge leap of faith yet again, not unlike our journey to start our family. This calling is familiar. And yet still scary at the same time. When I stepped out in faith as we let God have control over when we would begin to grow our family, it was scary. And the path He lead us on was far different than I could have imagined. But through the challenges and stumbles He was there, and it changed my relationship with him in a major way. My faith grew beyond anything I could imagine. I never felt so close to Him. This calling is again going to lead us down a path of uncertainty, and the only thing I can be certain about is His promise to honor our obedience by being faithful in return. Our WOW time is coming...

Dear Luca

Dear Luca,
Time seems to slip by so fast these days. Last month you officially turned 2 and a half. As soon as you go to bed at night I miss you. I guess that's why I really haven't minded the fact that you have ended up in our bed almost every night for the last week. I love staying up late at night and flipping through photos of you on my phone. In just a year you have grown and changed so much. You are talking up a storm...and that sweet baby face all of a sudden doesn't look so babyish. That adorable diaper butt waddling around the house is gone, and big boy undies fill my laundry basket. I love watching you change and seeing your personality develop more and more as you become the little person God created you to be. But man some days I miss my tiny little baby. You hardly fit on my lap anymore when we rock in the chair at night. You can be such a stinker, and the "the terrible twos" get the best of you at times...but you can also be so, so, so sweet. The other night you held my face in your hands and said "I'll never leave you" and my heat melted (for the millionth time since you were born). You are still obsessed with monster trucks. We took you to Monster Jam a couple of weeks ago and it was worth every penny to see your face light up when we walked into the stadium filled with life-size versions of your favorite toys. Yesterday I asked if you wanted to take your monster trucks inside to wash (you have been loving having "car washes") but you told me that "monster trucks live in the sand". You of course haven't given up your love of sports yet either. You love dressing up in your jerseys, cleats, shin guards, and even a bicycle helmet you call your football helmet. I can't wait to watch you play on a team one day. I hope that you know how much I love you. And I always will. I will always be there for you, and when life gets you down you can always come to me. I LOVE YOU!!!!

One Day at a Time

A new year is upon us and as I reflect on the previous year, I am thankful for the lessons learned and the memories made. It wasn't the easiest year, but we got through it and I am ready to set some big goals for 2014. I mean WOW goals. Goals that I know can only be possible to reach if God shows up in a big way. And I like that. Last year as we welcomed 2013, I prayed for an easy year. I wanted just one year without major life changes. Since we were married it seemed as though life was crazy and every year we had something big going on. Wedding, moving across the country, starting careers, building a house, grad school, travel, pregnancy loss, bringing Luca into our lives, new jobs. While I can say we didn't have major life changes in 2013, we had our share of challenges. But those challenges have helped us to reevaluate our goals for our family's future. And I don't think I will pray for an "easy" year again. It felt like we were stagnant. If big things aren't happening in your life on the regular, it's too easy to fall into complacency. I am ready for God to move this year!
So, what exactly our our goals for 2014? I don't like resolutions because they seem to cliche, so I am just setting a goal to take things one day at a time. How's that? I feel like if I can take each day as it comes and do the best I can with what I have in that moment, God will take care of the rest. But part of that means making different choices each day than we have in the past. One of our biggest goals this year involves our financial situation. While I know we have the power to make some simple changes to improve our situation, I also know that we will be praying for God to intervene in some areas. Part of changing our financial situation involves a potential BIG move for us...so stay tuned for that one.

Thankful

This fall has been a blur, and I can't believe Christmas is just around the corner! I need to take a minute to catch up with the blog, and really life in general. We just enjoyed a week long visit from my parents for Thanksgiving, and it was so wonderful to have them here. They took Luca to the zoo and he loved all the quality time with them. It's always so special to watch Luca with my parents, and I hope that soon we will be closer so we can spend a lot more time together. It's getting more and more difficult to be away from our families and every time we do get to be together it just motivates us even more to find a way to get back to Indiana. We are hoping that it will happen soon, and I know that if it's in God's plans for us that He will make a way. For now we have to keep on trucking and wait for His response to our petitions. It's hard sitting here alone with Luca in front of the Christmas tree waiting for Santi to get home from work. I wish I could just pop on over to my parent's house or my brother's house to hang out. But for now I have to be patient. So I will try. I feel that He has big things on the horizon for us. I believe that. Aside from being able to spend Thanksgiving with my parents here, we have many more things to be thankful for this year. So I want to put out the many many positives in our lives and take a moment to truly be thankful where we are in this very moment.

1. Our son Luca-He is such a sweet and loving little boy, smart, funny, and always keeps me on my toes. We struggled to start our family, and there were many many days I cried and cried praying for a baby and worrying that it would never happen for us. But here he is, and he is HEALTHY and HAPPY and every day with him is a joy.

2. Our marriage-We have been together almost 10 years, and married for 6. We are best friends, and we make a great team. I love the couple we have become and our relationship continues to grow each and every day. Our differences really bring something unique and special to our marriage and I am thankful for that.

3. Our dog-Tevez has been a part of our lives since he was a puppy, and he is our first "baby". For the last 6 years he has shown us what true unconditional love is. His carefree and happy-go-lucky attitude always brings a smile to my face.

4. Our home-We built this home together the year after we were married, and while we have had our ups and downs with our decision to build this home, it has severed us well and we have made many special memories together here. I am so thankful that we have been able to own our own home at such a young age, and that we were able to weather the real estate storm here.

5. Our families-We both have incredible families that love and support us in everything we do. We both have parents that are still married after 30+ years who have been excellent examples to us. Our families are truly a blessing.

6. Our jobs-While they may not always be easy, we are thankful to have income that supports our family and even allows us to do some special things once in awhile. And I am thankful for a flexible job that allows me a lot of time off to spend with Luca.

7. Luca's Childcare-It's not easy being a working mom, and every day I struggle with that decision, but we are so blessed with childcare that is like family to us. Every day I know that Luca is thriving at Great Beginnings with teachers that show him the love of Christ each and every day.

8. Teaching-(I guess this one only applies to me) Being a teacher is the most difficult job I have ever loved. Every day brings new challenges, and sometimes heartaches, but my students over the last 7 years have taught me more than I could ever imagine. Sometimes I feel that I get more back than I give. I have been blessed with some truly special students whose names and faces will have a special place in my heart forever. I have also been fortunate to work with some amazingly inspirational and supportive colleagues.

9. Health-After many health struggles in the last year, I am thankful that we are all currently healthy and doing well. Aside from a few colds here and there, we have made it through the start of cold and flu season unaffected and I pray this continues.

10. Our God-This is last on my list but that is not indicative of His place in our lives. I am so grateful for a God that loves us unconditionally and blesses us beyond measure each and every day. His presence in our life is a blessing each and every day, and even though too often we fail to recognize His daily gifts, they are abundant every day of the year.