Spring is in the air!

FINALLY spring has arrived here in southern Indiana, and I am once again in love with our Hoosier home! After more than 2 months of being trapped in the house (with a newborn and three year old) I was starting to wonder what we were thinking moving back. I had to see constant posts from my dear Arizona friends of their beautiful sunny winter days and I couldn't help but feel jealous. And sad. I do miss it terribly at times, but spring has reminded me of what I always missed about Indiana when we were living in the desert. Everything is blooming and it's beautiful! The grass is so green, flowers are blooming, the trees are full of buds. We have also had several thunderstorms which I love. There is nothing better than the sound of thunder rolling and rain on the roof. And the smell of rain. And open windows with birds chirping. And fresh cut grass. We are loving our yard, and we are in the process of fixing our deck and planting some more flowers. My dad also built us an incredible table for the back. I am so excited for our first real cookout. I am also really enjoying our neighborhood. It is perfect for walking and bike riding, and we can literally see the Clear Creek Trail from our front porch. And the sunset. It's beautiful. I can't wait to plop myself in a chair on the front porch this summer with a glass of wine and watch the sun set. I also can't wait to find some time to lace up my running shoes and head over to the trail with my favorite running buddy. It's been a long time coming. I am so ready to get back into shape. I NEED to run! I am also looking forward to spending many sunny days outside with my two sweet children this summer. We have a lot of exploring to do in our new home! Last summer I worked summer camp and was frantically searching for a job, all while pregnant, so I feel like we missed out on the best of summer. Not this year. We are going to make it a summer to remember!

The New Normal

Tomorrow I head back to work after 8 short weeks at home with my two little people. That's half the amount of time I had off with Luca. While I have been dreading having to go back so soon, I am thankful for the time I was able to be home, and that I am entrusting my babies to Abuelita rather than having to send them off to daycare all day. Even though Luca had some wonderful daycare providers in Arizona that were like family to us, I know that having family that is willing and able to care for our children is priceless. And Luca and Mila will create many special memories with their grandparents before they head to school. This makes the move worth it, as hard as it has been. Sometimes I am amazed that we survived the last year. I cannot wrap my mind around the fact that this time last year we had JUST put our house in Arizona on the market. We had no idea how things were going to work out, and we also had no idea that we would be adding a new member to our family in the midst of it all. But somehow we did it. Was it easy? Absolutely not. But it grew our faith and strengthened our family. And we are still adjusting to all of the changes. We still miss Arizona. We are still getting used to having our families around, which is wonderful and sometimes challenging all the same. We spent our entire married life thousands of miles away from both of our parents. It forced us to really rely on each other, and we had the opportunity to figure out married life and parenthood on our own. While we love being able to see both of our families on a regular basis, and Luca loves having his cousins around, it can be challenging to suddenly have so many opinions and input on the way you raise your children and the way you run your household. I am still very much learning how to accept advice and criticisms and not taking it personally. I am also learning how to juggle life with two kids. The true test starts tomorrow when I put on my working mom hat again. I am ready to establish our new routine, and to work on finding a new balance for our family with two kids and two working parents. I am trying to be intentional every day, and keep my eyes focused on what is most important. And that is my relationship with God and the love and grace I show to my family and others each and every day. I am trying to keep the stress and busyness of life at bay so that I can enjoy the fullness of our blessings. I will admit that the last 8 weeks haven't been easy. There were many days that I felt as though I failed miserably at this mom of two gig. Many days that the sleep deprivation took over and I lacked grace or neglected love. Being trapped indoors due to winter weather and cold and flu season made some days seem impossibly long. I know there were many times I could have been more intentional. More loving. But His mercies are new every morning. Tomorrow starts a new normal for our family, and I intend to live intentionally focused on Him and on my family.

Dear Luca

Dear Mr. Luca,
Tomorrow I will head back to work after being home with you and your baby sister for the last 8 weeks. I know you have enjoyed being home with us, and we have had a lot of fun together. I will really miss being with you all day, but I know summer is just around the corner and we are going to make it count! I know how much you have been missing the warm weather and being able to get outside and play. Almost daily you ask if it's warm enough to wear "cut shirts" yet. It's been an adjustment for you not only having a new baby sister that dictates a lot of our days, but also winter weather that keeps us indoors much more than we would like. Trust me, I am itching to get out too! Every day I look at you and I just can't believe how old you look now. I also can't believe you will be 4 this summer. We just registered you for your 4 year old class at preschool, and you were really excited to see that they had Power Rangers. Now you ask at preschool drop off every day if you get to go to your new class yet. You are all about super heroes and transformers lately. We just watched Big Hero 6 at least 5 times last weekend. You seem to have taken a break from sports, but I know that you will be thrilled to start soccer this spring. You also started swimming lessons last week, and you said it was your "super sport". You have been an amazing big brother to Mila, and I know it hasn't always been easy to share the attention. I am so impressed with how well you have adjusted to having a little sister. And it melts my heart to see how much you love her. You said she is the cutest baby in the world. You are always giving her kisses and bringing her toys. You also love showing her your monster trucks. And you always want to snuggle with her...sometimes a little too much. I know you are going to love it when she is bigger and able to play more. I am so proud of the little person you are becoming, and I am blessed to be your mom. I love you Luca Alberto!!!

Love,
Mommy

Dear Mila

Dear Ms. Mila,
My sweet baby girl. I cannot believe on Friday you will be 2 months old. These 2 months have been a blur. Since we survived those first few rocky weeks of sleep deprivation, it feels like we are really getting in the swing of things. You really had your days and nights mixed up for awhile, which was pretty rough with an older brother that doesn't nap anymore and needs mommy all day. But we made it, and you are starting to figure out this whole sleep at night thing. Maybe soon you will give me some longer stretches of sleep. You have started smiling quite a bit lately, and are most happy in the morning. But you can also be kind of dramatic when you are unhappy. You have the biggest, brightest eyes and the most precious little face. When you are awake you are always interested in what's going on around you, and you love to observe and take in the world around you. You think your older brother is pretty silly, and so far you have survived him. One day I know you will be able to defend yourself, and he's going to be in trouble. You are going to be a tough little girl! Even though he can be a little to rough, it's all out of love. And man he loves his little sister. I am so thankful you will always have Luca to watch out for you. You love to lay on your play mat, especially when Luca brings you toys. You have actually rolled over from your belly to your back a handful of times already! You also love your baths. I am looking forward to seeing how your personality develops over the months ahead. I can't wait for that first giggle, and I know it's just around the corner! Tomorrow I head back to work, and I will miss you dearly. I am looking forward to summer just a few months away!!!!

Love,
Mommy

Arizona on My Mind

Somehow it has been 8 months since we left our Arizona home. I cannot believe we have been away that long. Luca has been requesting his "Goodnight Arizona" book regularly lately, and he still talks about Arizona all the time. He also asks when we can go back. That tugs at my heart a little. I hope that he is able to retain those special memories of Arizona, but I know that he was still so young when we left. I was just thinking about Arizona the other day as we watched the footage of the Super Bowl in Phoenix. It's a weird position to be in, having two places that I consider "home". I was born and raised in Southern Indiana...this will always be home. But we began our married/adult life in Arizona, and in the 7 years we lived there we made so many memories. It feels like home too. And no matter where we live, we will always be missing something, and that's hard sometimes. When we were there we desperately missed family, but being here we miss our desert life style and all the memories we left behind there. I think not knowing when we will be able to afford to go back and visit also makes it difficult. I think about our first home that we left behind on Desert Bloom St. and all the special moments that happened within those stucco walls, and it's hard not to be sentimental. It's also strange to know that Mila will never know Arizona aside from pictures or future visits. However I will never forget that we learned of our pregnancy with Mila in that teal bathroom in our little desert home, just like we did with Luca's. She is our last little memory that we took from Arizona, and I can't wait to teach her all about it one day.