Summer Days

Summer has finally arrived!!! I cannot explain the feeling of waking up on that first day of summer break when you are a teacher. It's like crossing the finish line of a marathon...or let's say what I imagine it would be like to cross the finish line after a marathon. Obviously I have never actually done that. And I am not sure I ever would. Anyways. I woke up this morning to snuggle my kiddos on the couch while we watched Finding Nemo. And it was perfect. We came up with a simple, flexible daily schedule just for the sake of consistency (and my sanity), but I love knowing that we have 10 weeks of just doing whatever we fancy. We can go to the library, the park, the pool, the splash pad, the mall...and I kind of like not knowing just what we are going to do each day. We do what we want. This summer is going to be a lot of fun, and we are going to make the most of it! Mila is old enough to really be able to enjoy our outings more, and her schedule is a little more flexible than it was last summer. Luca is old enough to be involved in camps and VBS, which I know he is looking forward to. And we have an exciting Florida trip planned in just a couple of weeks! I am SO ready to get to the beach with my family and just have FUN!
I cannot believe that at the end of all of our summer fun, Luca is starting kindergarten! I don't know why, but this milestone is hitting me HARD. Maybe it's the fact that I am a teacher, and former kindergarten teacher. Or maybe it's just that he's my first. I don't know. But I am so anxious about this big step. It just makes him seem so grown up. So big! I am trying not to be all emotional over it, but I know I will be when that day comes. And I am anxious knowing that he and I won't be in the same school. At least for now. I always imagined we would be, but that hasn't worked out just yet. I am trying! And I really really really hate that I can't take him on his first day and daddy gets to. One of the downfalls of being a teacher mom. Tonight he learned how to ride his bike without training wheels. His training wheel broke off and he just decided right then and there that he didn't need them. We had tried it once before but he was too scared. Tonight he just went for it. I let go of the seat and off he went. So symbolic. I hope that the start to his elementary career will go just as smoothly!

Balance

Life lately feels like a constant search for balance. I have entered one of those seasons where it just feels like I am running an endless race. Clean the house. Make the meals. Love on the kids. Play with the kids. Teach the students. Plan the lessons. Discipline the children. Connect with the husband. Walk the dog. Shop for the groceries. Organize. Check the calendar. Clean some more. Sleep a little. Maybe a moment to unwind? To breath? I am craving some time for yoga and running lately. And I really don't have any good excuse other than I am constantly exhausted lately. And honestly finding time away from the kids is nearly impossible between Santi's work schedule and the fact that Mila is still a terrible sleeper. I just need some time for me. To recharge. To reconnect to myself and my Maker. And it's that end of the school year slump. I am not even a classroom teacher anymore, but May still gets me. I am checked out. Done. But more than anything lately I am craving a deeper connection with my Creator. Or any connection. And I know I am to blame. I let the exhaustion get me. I sit down to read a devotion or spend time in prayer and I am dozing off in seconds. When I am going through trials or struggles, or just stressful times, He feels so near. I draw close to Him with ease. And I need to be able to do that in the mundane times. The every day times. I am thankful that life right now is pretty simple. Things are good. I have a lot to be thankful for. I should be filled with joy in this season of life. I am living the life so many others would love to have. We have recently started attending a different church, and I am praying for a connection to this body of believers. For some authentic relationships. I know I have a lot of work to do, and my focus needs to shift. I need to find the healthy balance between giving of myself to others, my family, and to my career and giving to myself by allowing myself to recharge spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I need to focus on being in the moment. Practice mindfulness. Life is happening every second of every day, in the midst of the ordinary moments. And my kids are growing up before my eyes. I have to stop letting doubts get the best of me. I have to see each moment for what it is, even when I'm exhausted and out of energy. And take those quiet moments that seem so few to recharge so I can choose joy day in and day out. 

Dear Luca

Dear Mr. Luca,
I cannot believe we registered you for kindergarten a few weeks ago. It seems like only yesterday you were a diaper clad toddler. Tonight you sat in my lap and it felt like my baby had disappeared! All of a sudden there was a big kid sitting there. Those chubby toddler hands and feet have been replaced. You're getting so tall. And before I know it you will be 5. We will be putting you on the school bus and sending you on your way. And it just makes me want to stop time. It's just going to fast. I want to keep you little! But I know that would not be fair. You have big things to do, and God has an amazing plan for your life. As hard as it is watching you grow up so quickly, I look forward to seeing what your future holds. You are our sweet and sensitive little guy still. You are strong willed, and you don't back down, which I know will serve you well one day. It drives me crazy now. You are independent and outgoing. You love being with your friends at school and spending time with your cousins at grandpa and grandma's house. You are always open to trying new things, and you have the greatest imagination. You are always coming up with crazy ideas. You still love to dress up in different costumes. You are still a fan of sports, firemen, monster trucks, and superheroes. I don't ever want you to outgrow your imagination. I love watching your pretend play. You have also developed an interest in drawing and you are pretty creative! I am looking forward to spending this summer together doing all kinds of fun things. And I am especially excited about our big family vacation to Florida. I know you are going to love it, and I can't wait to relive all my favorite childhood memories from Florida. I love you kid. So so so so SO much.

Mommy

Dear Ms. Mila

Dear Mila,
I haven't been as good about your blog letters as I was with Luca. I know I will probably say this often, but the second child gets the short end of the stick! Life is busy, and I am constantly having to stop and remind myself to take notice of each passing day. Each passing milestone. You are growing so quickly and I cannot believe how quickly the baby days have gone by. The last few weeks you have ventured into the world of walking. You are still very cautious and hesitant, but you will take steps here and there. I think you are also a little impatient, and you have realized that crawling will get you where you want to be much faster than toddling along. We bought you a couple pairs of cute shoes last weekend. Your first real shoes. I think we are beginning a love of shoes and shopping:) A girl can't have too many pairs of shoes. You already like to take my headbands and put them on, even though if I put a headband on you it never stays put. You only want to wear mommy's things. The other day you wrapped Luca's pajama pants around your neck like a scarf. And this morning you grabbed my makeup brush and pretended to put on makeup. I know one day we will have a lot of fun mother/daughter days of shopping, pedicures, and makeup! Besides walking, you have also started babbling a lot more. It will be interesting to see what real words you will say first since you get so much Spanish with Abuelita. I am looking forward to this next stage with you. Toddlerhood is such a fun time! We love you!

Mommy

Happy 1st Birthday Mila Paz!!!

At this time one year ago, Santi and I packed Luca up and sent him to Abuelitos house, then headed to the hospital under a snow advisory...following behind a snow plow as the flakes were coming down. I had worked a full day, my first day back from winter break. I was still one week away from my due date, but I knew that she would come early just like her brother. I was hoping I wouldn't have to return from Christmas break at all, but one day back at school, going up and down all those stairs at Fairview, was just enough to get things going! Labor was much quicker than I anticipated (after laboring over 24 hours with Luca)...and Ms. Mila Paz Sotomayor arrived at 1:06am on 1/6/15. Less than 7 hours after the first contraction. She shared a birthday with one of the delivery nurses. Our little snowflake. We took her home the following day. On one of the coldest days of the year. She fit right into our little family from the very beginning. In many ways, she reminds me of Luca. She is a busy little girl, and doesn't like to stay still. And she can't be bothered with naps or sleeping. She doesn't want to miss a thing. And I guess at night she doesn't want to miss mommy and daddy because she loves to come snuggle in our bed every night. She knows what she wants, and she knows how to get it. Usually this involves high pitched screams or incessant pointing. As long as her demands are met, she is happy and easy going. She is sweet as can be. Loves to give kisses and dance. Waves bye bye. I think she says "baby" now, and "ve" (in Spanish). She also says mama and dada. She loves dogs, especially her big fur baby Tevez. She also loves her big brother, but she isn't afraid to let him know when he is in her way or when he has made her mad. She also has a serious side, and getting her to smile for pictures is next to impossible, as evidenced by her one year photo shoot. But I love how it captures her personality oh so perfectly. So thoughtful, observant, and a little skeptical. I still can't believe she is one. What a year it has been. It sounds so cliche, but I can't imagine life without her now. She was the missing piece to our family, and we are looking forward to watching her little personality continue to unfold!

Photos courtesy of Gift of Today Photography, Bloomington, Indiana