I never imagined our journey to start our family would take us through such heartache and pain, but it did, and it has forever changed us. After our first loss, so many friends and family members shared their stories of loss with us, and it helped bring us through a very difficult time. At the time of our loss, three of my close friends actually suffered a loss as well. I just never knew it affected so many. And no one talks about it.
For those that have never been through it, it's hard to understand. For those that have been blessed with children, imagine the excitement you felt when you first learned you were expecting. You loved that new life growing inside of you already, and it represented so many hopes and dreams. For those that go through a miscarriage or pregnancy loss, those hopes and dreams are crushed. It fills you with a grief as strong and deep as any loss would bring, and yet you feel like you can't talk about it, and you feel like you can't share what you are going through with others.This is the hardest thing. The silence. I have been fortunate enough to meet some wonderful women in an online support group that have given me an incredible amount of strength and encouragement, and talking to others who have been through it has been so helpful. If you have dealt with the pain and grief of loss, you shouldn't have to go through it alone.
While I am doing well now, and looking forward to the future and the blessing of children, I will never view pregnancy and motherhood in the same was as I did before my losses. I know that my innocence has been stolen away, and when we are blessed with another opportunity to be parents, the joy will always be overshadowed by fear. Even so, I look forward to continuing our journey, and God has provided me with a renewed sense of hope as we wait for another blessing.
