Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Keeping It Real

We've been busy. That's an understatement. My blogging has slacked (yet again). The beginning of a new school year always seems to get the best of me. Oh, and our summer was pretty jam packed as well. With that being said, it's time to get real. We are currently experiencing one of those God moments in our lives. You know, the kind that stop you in your tracks and make you "get real" with yourself? Yeah, that kind. I keep telling myself that the end result of this is going to be good. God has a plan. Sometimes I just fail to see that plan until he hits me with a wake up call. Like three years ago when I was pretending like I didn't hear him calling me to take that leap of faith and start our family. Going through our miscarriages and fertility issues was by far the most difficult thing we have been through as a married couple, but wow that was a life changing time. I have never felt so close to God, or seen the evidence of His presence so clearly. So here's what's real:
A couple of weeks ago Santi had an episode of feeling really dizzy while we were out to eat for Andrea's birthday. We went to the ER and his blood pressure was really high, and medications didn't seem to bring it down. We were sent home with orders to see his doctor the next day. After two weeks of doctor and specialist visits and time in and out of the ER (thankfully Santi's wonderful parents were able to fly out to help), we are still waiting patiently for the results of several tests he had done last week. The thought is that it may be a problem with his adrenal glad that is causing all of his issues, and may have even been the culprit for his high blood pressure that he has been dealing with for years. Hopefully tomorrow we should have more information. In the meantime he is still off work per doctor's orders, and I am playing mommy, nurse, teacher, chef, and housekeeper. Now I realize just how much I value my dear husband and what he does for our family. Being a single mom is rough! I am exhausted, and I am trying to keep a clear mind and firm grasp on the peace that surpasses all understanding. And it's not easy holding it together. But the show must go on. I am so thankful in all of this for the truly amazing people in our lives that have jumped in to help and support us while we work though this. Meals, prayers, help with housework and Luca...it's humbling. Through all of this, God has brought a lot of clarity, and I have realized the need for a shift in priorities in our family, and it's been an incredible blessing. I know that He is working in our family right now, and "I will remain confident in this, I will see the goodness of the Lord."

In the meantime, we seriously have the cutest, sweetest little boy in the entire world. I don't know where I would be without that kid. I really and truly don't. Even when he is a total two year old tyrant. I just can't get enough. I know this hasn't been easy for him either, but he's a trooper, and I love him for it.