Arizona on My Mind

Somehow it has been 8 months since we left our Arizona home. I cannot believe we have been away that long. Luca has been requesting his "Goodnight Arizona" book regularly lately, and he still talks about Arizona all the time. He also asks when we can go back. That tugs at my heart a little. I hope that he is able to retain those special memories of Arizona, but I know that he was still so young when we left. I was just thinking about Arizona the other day as we watched the footage of the Super Bowl in Phoenix. It's a weird position to be in, having two places that I consider "home". I was born and raised in Southern Indiana...this will always be home. But we began our married/adult life in Arizona, and in the 7 years we lived there we made so many memories. It feels like home too. And no matter where we live, we will always be missing something, and that's hard sometimes. When we were there we desperately missed family, but being here we miss our desert life style and all the memories we left behind there. I think not knowing when we will be able to afford to go back and visit also makes it difficult. I think about our first home that we left behind on Desert Bloom St. and all the special moments that happened within those stucco walls, and it's hard not to be sentimental. It's also strange to know that Mila will never know Arizona aside from pictures or future visits. However I will never forget that we learned of our pregnancy with Mila in that teal bathroom in our little desert home, just like we did with Luca's. She is our last little memory that we took from Arizona, and I can't wait to teach her all about it one day.

Settling In

It's been 4 weeks since Ms. Mila entered our lives. I cannot believe how fast the time is flying by! The first three weeks were mostly a breeze. Santi was home with us 2 weeks more than we had planned on after accepting a new job (YAY...more on that later). It was so wonderful having him at home to help out. He was able to take care of Luca and keep him entertained with outings and of course sports while I took care of Mila and tried to rest as much as possible with a newborn. Last week he started training for his new job, which unfortunately was out of town, and he had an additional week of training out of town this week. Mila has also been more awake and alert, and life is starting to become more like what I pictured life with two little people would be...chaotic, joyful, exhausting, challenging, overwhelming, and amazing all at the same time. I am trying to enjoy my maternity leave and the extra time with Mr. Luca, but these last two weeks have admittedly been a challenge since Santi was away and my in-laws are out of the country. It's definitely hard being up all night with a newborn and then having to entertain a three year old (while also still caring for a sometimes fussy newborn) all day with no relief in the evenings. Thankfully my mom stepped in to help out a couple of days, which was a lifesaver! I just keep reminding myself that this season will pass so quickly. My days of no showers, spit up covered clothing, messy hair, and sweatpants are temporary...just like those sweet sleepy newborn smiles, milk drunk faces, and tiny frog legs. I remember this season with Luca, and how much I struggled through the early weeks as I adjusted to our new normal and life with a baby. It was difficult adjusting to my new role as a mother and in some respects mourning the loss of the life we led before parenthood. I remember how overcome with love I was with Luca, while at the same time feeling a bit lost because my life had changed so much. This time around, Mila has brought big changes to our lives in much the same way Luca did, but as an experienced mom, I know that we will soon get in the groove of this new life, and having her in it brings us so much joy and fulfillment. I can already see how much Luca loves his sister, and his sweet endearing words of "she is the cutest baby in the world" just melt my heart. While I look forward to seeing them interact more, and their relationship bloom as she grows older, I am not about to rush this time. I know it will pass to fast.
Now that Mila is here, I finally feel like we are ready to find some "normal" in our lives after all of the changes we have had lately. If you would have told me last February that in just 365 days we would be living in Bloomington with new jobs, a new house, AND a new baby...I would have said you were crazy. Life is crazy. Sometimes I wonder what God is thinking when he throws these things at us, but I know from experience that He always has a plan and a purpose. I never want to get comfortable where we are. I always want to be moving forward in faith and discovering who we are and God's plan for our lives. I know now that our focus for now is on loving our family of four, raising our children, and growing closer to Him as we work on our finances and pray about opportunities for us in the future to possibly grow our family through adoption or foster care.
We are thankful that God has provided a new job for Santi as assistant manager at Old National Bank, and we look forward to seeing how God moves through this new position and how it strengthens our family as it allows for him to be home earlier and more often, and a regular non-commission based paycheck. This is such a blessing.