Sunday, August 17, 2014
Grace is Enough
I'll continue my former post about our transition into life back at "home" in Indiana. They say when you move somewhere new it takes at least 6 months to feel comfortable. Even though I grew up in Indiana and Santi had lived here for a good 10 years before we moved to Arizona, it was a major adjustment. Leaving Arizona behind was difficult in so many ways, and our lives here were slow to take shape as we lived in limbo over the summer. Thankfully we were able to stay with Santi's mom and dad until we were able to sell our Arizona home (which turned out to be a nightmare) and find a home here that fit our needs. I know this was not easy on them, and it certainly wasn't easy on us either. When you are used to being so far away from family, moving in with family is a BIG challenge. Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful having all the help with Luca, dinner made every night, and laundry folded neatly. Really, it is. But as a wife and mom it's also hard to step into someone else's home and feel comfortable. At times I felt rather bitter about our situation. I will admit it. I felt as thought I had kind of lost my place. It didn't help that I was pregnant and hormonal, and in general completely overwhelmed about the major life changes we were going through. I didn't yet have a job lined up, and that was very scary financially for us. We were worried we wouldn't be able to move out of their house as quickly as we had planned. I spent a LOT of time in prayer this summer. I was humbled by working an hourly camp job to help pay off our moving expenses and the added unexpected expenses that continued to pop up with our house in Arizona. It's hard going from being a teacher to working with a bunch of high school and college students as a camp counselor. But I got through the summer. I had one teaching interview the week after we arrived here, and not a single other phone call (despite applying for every possible opening in the near vicinity). In my first interview I had "rave reviews"...yet they hired someone who was already working an hourly position in the school...which is how it usually goes in Bloomington. Not to mention with 7 years of experience they don't want to pay for you when they can get someone fresh out of college and pay them less. I was really worried. As luck (or grace) would have it, I happened to know someone in the interview panel at that interview. She "promised" to get me a position in the district after she learned I wasn't hired. I held on to hope in His future grace all summer...sweating it out as a pregnant lady working summer camp. Let's be honest...it SUCKED. As the school supplies rolled out at Target and the start of the school year quickly began to approach...I started to have my doubts. I started to regret moving back and question God's calling us to come home to Indiana. I am only human. But thankfully He is a God full or mercy and grace. The week before new teacher orientation I was hired as a Title 1 teacher at Fairview Elementary. It was absolutely the perfect position for me at this point in my life. I get to teach and be a part of a school that is going through some big and exciting changes (from failing to thriving!). I get to work in a school that has my heart, as did my schools in Phoenix. And I don't have a lot of the added outside work of a regular classroom teacher, which is what I need with another baby on the way. Oh, and I even got a tiny raise:) And they were all worried that they could only credit 5 of my 7 years of experience. Ha! Salaries have been frozen in Arizona for years...anyways. He is good! I am truly in awe of his provisions. While we are waiting He is working. In the midst of all of that, we also found a cute little house we love just a few blocks away from Santi's parents. We should be closing on it August 29th and moving in the following weekend! I am so beyond excited to be in our own place again! It may be completely lacking in furniture or decor for awhile, but I am looking forward to making it our own.
Our Journey "Home"
I have been thinking about this post for weeks...but let me tell you life has been crazy! To sum things up, in the last three months we have moved across the country, started two new jobs, sold one house, and are in the process of buying another...oh, and just for fun we are also excepting baby Sotomayor numero dos!
I'll go back to May. God promptings are real. And sometimes He really wants to test our faith. And two things are for sure: His grace is enough, and His mercies are new every morning. We were in the midst of selling our Arizona house, and had accepted our second offer after the first fell through. We had no idea what was going to unfold in that process, and I am glad we didn't or we may have quickly changed our minds! I was also wrapping up my school year at Dreaming Summit with very mixed emotions. I was excited about our new adventure, but I was also feeling torn about leaving a school I loved. And I was questioning my career as a teacher. I didn't know what my next steps would be...continuing in public education or moving on to something new.
We also learned at the beginning of the month that my Grandma Thelma's health was quickly declining. The night I learned that she had gone to sleep and wasn't coming out of it, I also learned that I was pregnant with our second baby. By the next morning I received a text from my mom letting me know she had passed away early that morning. Talk about a range of emotions. I battled through the next few weeks of packing to move across the country, tying up loose ends in Phoenix, saying goodbye to friends, and finishing a school year...all while in the early weeks of pregnancy and feeling less than energetic and only slightly hormonal.
Saying goodbye to the only place you have called home in your entire married life, the place you built your first home, started your career, welcomed your first child...all while pregnant...is emotional. Especially not knowing when we will return. My parents and Santi's family were life savers. They came out and took over a lot of the packing and moving so I could focus on finishing my school year. They also entertained Luca as we quickly sold almost everything we owned and were left with no more than a few boxes. That was not easy! On my last day of school my mom was a trooper and crashed with Luca and I at my sister in law's apartment while my dad and Santi got on the road with Tevez to drive both of our vehicles to Indiana. After I finished my last day of school, which is exhausting enough in itself, we headed to a hotel for one last night in our Arizona home before flying out to Indiana the next day. Of course as luck would have it Luca ended up with a fever of 102 that evening in the hotel...so I didn't sleep, which is all I really wanted to do after that week. We boarded a flight and quickly headed off with a sick kid and heavy heart. I was missing my husband and puppy, worried about them driving, and worried about a sick kid. All while not feeling so well myself. My mom was amazing. Thank goodness that women is so calm..I am not. We made it to Indy thankfully, and my brother was there to pick us up. Poor Luca was pretty miserable, but still excited to see his cousins. We got him to urgent care, then crashed at the Hughes' before making the last leg of our journey to Bloomington.
I have never been so happy to have all of my family back together again in one place! It was an enormous feeling of relief pulling into my in-laws driveway and seeing Santi, Tevez, and my dad. While we were so incredibly relieved to finally have reached our destination...our journey was not over yet, and God still had big plans for us as we began to plant roots in Indiana.
I'll go back to May. God promptings are real. And sometimes He really wants to test our faith. And two things are for sure: His grace is enough, and His mercies are new every morning. We were in the midst of selling our Arizona house, and had accepted our second offer after the first fell through. We had no idea what was going to unfold in that process, and I am glad we didn't or we may have quickly changed our minds! I was also wrapping up my school year at Dreaming Summit with very mixed emotions. I was excited about our new adventure, but I was also feeling torn about leaving a school I loved. And I was questioning my career as a teacher. I didn't know what my next steps would be...continuing in public education or moving on to something new.
We also learned at the beginning of the month that my Grandma Thelma's health was quickly declining. The night I learned that she had gone to sleep and wasn't coming out of it, I also learned that I was pregnant with our second baby. By the next morning I received a text from my mom letting me know she had passed away early that morning. Talk about a range of emotions. I battled through the next few weeks of packing to move across the country, tying up loose ends in Phoenix, saying goodbye to friends, and finishing a school year...all while in the early weeks of pregnancy and feeling less than energetic and only slightly hormonal.
Saying goodbye to the only place you have called home in your entire married life, the place you built your first home, started your career, welcomed your first child...all while pregnant...is emotional. Especially not knowing when we will return. My parents and Santi's family were life savers. They came out and took over a lot of the packing and moving so I could focus on finishing my school year. They also entertained Luca as we quickly sold almost everything we owned and were left with no more than a few boxes. That was not easy! On my last day of school my mom was a trooper and crashed with Luca and I at my sister in law's apartment while my dad and Santi got on the road with Tevez to drive both of our vehicles to Indiana. After I finished my last day of school, which is exhausting enough in itself, we headed to a hotel for one last night in our Arizona home before flying out to Indiana the next day. Of course as luck would have it Luca ended up with a fever of 102 that evening in the hotel...so I didn't sleep, which is all I really wanted to do after that week. We boarded a flight and quickly headed off with a sick kid and heavy heart. I was missing my husband and puppy, worried about them driving, and worried about a sick kid. All while not feeling so well myself. My mom was amazing. Thank goodness that women is so calm..I am not. We made it to Indy thankfully, and my brother was there to pick us up. Poor Luca was pretty miserable, but still excited to see his cousins. We got him to urgent care, then crashed at the Hughes' before making the last leg of our journey to Bloomington.
I have never been so happy to have all of my family back together again in one place! It was an enormous feeling of relief pulling into my in-laws driveway and seeing Santi, Tevez, and my dad. While we were so incredibly relieved to finally have reached our destination...our journey was not over yet, and God still had big plans for us as we began to plant roots in Indiana.
Monday, April 7, 2014
Crazy Train
I guess it's time for an update. I guess the title explains how I am currently feeling. These last few months have been BIG...and I feel that my New Year's prayer for 2014 is in the process of coming to fruition. I prayed that in 2014 God would do something big in our lives. That we would have a WOW moment with God. We felt strongly that He was calling us to move back to Indiana. Now, just a few years ago I would have said "NO WAY!". Even still I feel conflicted. But I am going to listen to God's calling and take a leap of faith yet again. So we put our house up for sale in a very wonky market. We essentially quit our jobs (Santi is actually just transferring). And we are really going to do this. We are going to say goodbye to the place we have called home since we were newlyweds. The place we begin our journey as husband and wife. The place we started our careers. The place we built our first home. The place we finished school. The place Luca was born. Just like that. I have a lot of mixed emotions and the feeling is definitely bittersweet, but I also am beyond excited to begin a new stage in life back in Indiana. Back to my roots. Back to family. In the meantime, we have less than 7 weeks to pack up, either sell or rent this home, finish out my last school year here, and say our goodbyes. And just to add a little more crazy in, I decided to take a summer job in Bloomington back at the YMCA. Now that's weird to say. Oh yeah, and I kind of have to be there the Tuesday after school gets out. I really am crazy. I am seriously already exhausted. Right now the biggest stress has been the house. It would be an incredible blessing to just sell it. I am so tired of having to keep it show ready while working full time and taking care of a two year old. But we have a firm asking price that we need to stick to so we can just walk away. We lost one offer already, which was so disappointing, but I have to trust that if the right offer doesn't come that God will put renters in our path and hopefully we can sell and come out on top in a couple of years. It's just the waiting and the uncertainty that's killing me right now. I am just so overwhelmed with everything that has to fall into place over the next 7 weeks. We are having an open house next Sunday, so I am going to be praying that our buyer shows up.
Besides all the craziness of moving across the country, we are also preparing for all the craziness of the end of a school year, spring programs, field trips, Easter celebrations. Oh, and we also decided to swing one last trip to California with Luca before we move. Who knows when we will get to enjoy SoCal again. And Grandpa will be there, so of course we are excited to spend time with him. And we are going to bite the bullet and take Luca to Disneyland. I hope he loves it.
Speaking of Luca. He is quite the funny little guy. He is constantly coming up with "ideas" and "suggestions". I have no clue where he gets his huge vocabulary, but he never ceases to amaze me with the things that come out of his mouth. I feel a little guilty lately that we have been so wrapped up in moving and selling this house that our quality time hasn't been what I would like it to be. It's so hard, and we are so exhausted. And he has been refusing to go to sleep at night, which does't help. I feel so torn because I don't mind giving him that extra snuggle time, in fact I love it. But then I lose any time I have in the evening to pack, clean, grade, and all of the other things that have to happen for us to move in 7 weeks. I am just so ready to be in Indiana and for things to settle down. I am also hoping and praying that this move means God will finally answer the prayer I have had since the day I found out I was expecting Luca. I want more time with him. I want to be able to focus on him. Time is flying by. Every day he looks and talks more like a preschooler than a two year old. I can't handle it. I am thankful for our weekly froyo dates on Fridays, and I cherish those moments. I just hope we have many more moments like that coming our way.
Goodbye Arizona...
On another note, I have somehow been able to pick up running again in the last 3 months. I started running with some coworkers after school, and I am proud to say I am back to my college running level in just 3 short months. I even ran a 5k (first one in 10 years!) at the beginning of March. I am hoping I can keep it up in the midst of this craziness. Finding the time is tough, but running is good for my soul...and my sanity.
Besides all the craziness of moving across the country, we are also preparing for all the craziness of the end of a school year, spring programs, field trips, Easter celebrations. Oh, and we also decided to swing one last trip to California with Luca before we move. Who knows when we will get to enjoy SoCal again. And Grandpa will be there, so of course we are excited to spend time with him. And we are going to bite the bullet and take Luca to Disneyland. I hope he loves it.
Speaking of Luca. He is quite the funny little guy. He is constantly coming up with "ideas" and "suggestions". I have no clue where he gets his huge vocabulary, but he never ceases to amaze me with the things that come out of his mouth. I feel a little guilty lately that we have been so wrapped up in moving and selling this house that our quality time hasn't been what I would like it to be. It's so hard, and we are so exhausted. And he has been refusing to go to sleep at night, which does't help. I feel so torn because I don't mind giving him that extra snuggle time, in fact I love it. But then I lose any time I have in the evening to pack, clean, grade, and all of the other things that have to happen for us to move in 7 weeks. I am just so ready to be in Indiana and for things to settle down. I am also hoping and praying that this move means God will finally answer the prayer I have had since the day I found out I was expecting Luca. I want more time with him. I want to be able to focus on him. Time is flying by. Every day he looks and talks more like a preschooler than a two year old. I can't handle it. I am thankful for our weekly froyo dates on Fridays, and I cherish those moments. I just hope we have many more moments like that coming our way.
On another note, I have somehow been able to pick up running again in the last 3 months. I started running with some coworkers after school, and I am proud to say I am back to my college running level in just 3 short months. I even ran a 5k (first one in 10 years!) at the beginning of March. I am hoping I can keep it up in the midst of this craziness. Finding the time is tough, but running is good for my soul...and my sanity.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
That Moment When God Speaks
At the start if this year I blogged about our prayers for God to WOW us. For Him to show up in a big way. Things have been stirring in my heart since August and my prayers have been continual. I feel God asking us to take a huge leap of faith yet again, not unlike our journey to start our family. This calling is familiar. And yet still scary at the same time. When I stepped out in faith as we let God have control over when we would begin to grow our family, it was scary. And the path He lead us on was far different than I could have imagined. But through the challenges and stumbles He was there, and it changed my relationship with him in a major way. My faith grew beyond anything I could imagine. I never felt so close to Him. This calling is again going to lead us down a path of uncertainty, and the only thing I can be certain about is His promise to honor our obedience by being faithful in return. Our WOW time is coming...
Monday, February 3, 2014
Dear Luca
Dear Luca,
Time seems to slip by so fast these days. Last month you officially turned 2 and a half. As soon as you go to bed at night I miss you. I guess that's why I really haven't minded the fact that you have ended up in our bed almost every night for the last week. I love staying up late at night and flipping through photos of you on my phone. In just a year you have grown and changed so much. You are talking up a storm...and that sweet baby face all of a sudden doesn't look so babyish. That adorable diaper butt waddling around the house is gone, and big boy undies fill my laundry basket. I love watching you change and seeing your personality develop more and more as you become the little person God created you to be. But man some days I miss my tiny little baby. You hardly fit on my lap anymore when we rock in the chair at night. You can be such a stinker, and the "the terrible twos" get the best of you at times...but you can also be so, so, so sweet. The other night you held my face in your hands and said "I'll never leave you" and my heat melted (for the millionth time since you were born). You are still obsessed with monster trucks. We took you to Monster Jam a couple of weeks ago and it was worth every penny to see your face light up when we walked into the stadium filled with life-size versions of your favorite toys. Yesterday I asked if you wanted to take your monster trucks inside to wash (you have been loving having "car washes") but you told me that "monster trucks live in the sand". You of course haven't given up your love of sports yet either. You love dressing up in your jerseys, cleats, shin guards, and even a bicycle helmet you call your football helmet. I can't wait to watch you play on a team one day. I hope that you know how much I love you. And I always will. I will always be there for you, and when life gets you down you can always come to me. I LOVE YOU!!!!
Time seems to slip by so fast these days. Last month you officially turned 2 and a half. As soon as you go to bed at night I miss you. I guess that's why I really haven't minded the fact that you have ended up in our bed almost every night for the last week. I love staying up late at night and flipping through photos of you on my phone. In just a year you have grown and changed so much. You are talking up a storm...and that sweet baby face all of a sudden doesn't look so babyish. That adorable diaper butt waddling around the house is gone, and big boy undies fill my laundry basket. I love watching you change and seeing your personality develop more and more as you become the little person God created you to be. But man some days I miss my tiny little baby. You hardly fit on my lap anymore when we rock in the chair at night. You can be such a stinker, and the "the terrible twos" get the best of you at times...but you can also be so, so, so sweet. The other night you held my face in your hands and said "I'll never leave you" and my heat melted (for the millionth time since you were born). You are still obsessed with monster trucks. We took you to Monster Jam a couple of weeks ago and it was worth every penny to see your face light up when we walked into the stadium filled with life-size versions of your favorite toys. Yesterday I asked if you wanted to take your monster trucks inside to wash (you have been loving having "car washes") but you told me that "monster trucks live in the sand". You of course haven't given up your love of sports yet either. You love dressing up in your jerseys, cleats, shin guards, and even a bicycle helmet you call your football helmet. I can't wait to watch you play on a team one day. I hope that you know how much I love you. And I always will. I will always be there for you, and when life gets you down you can always come to me. I LOVE YOU!!!!
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