Wow. On Sunday our precious little baby turned 7 months old. Not only that, but in a matter of days he became an expert at sitting (no more toppling over), learned how to wave hi, and started army crawling forward and backward. I think it's time to finish the baby-proofing. I cannot believe how fast he is growing. My heart melts when I see pictures of him as a newborn. It seems like I blinked and that tiny baby doubled in size. Life has changed so much since he arrived, and even though balancing the demands of motherhood and a full time job is exhausting, I would do it over and over again. Luca has filled our lives with so much joy. He is such an incredible blessing.
While Luca is busy reaching milestones and changing every day, I am dealing with changes of my own. I have been praying for a long time for God to provide a way for me to stay at home with Luca. It makes me sick knowing that half of my paycheck goes to childcare and that I could be spending my days with him instead of other people's children. I struggle with this every.single.day. While I love teaching, I don't want to look back and regret the time I have missed with him. I am thankful that I am in a career that gives me 3 months off every year, but it's still not enough. So, as contract time approaches I am spending a lot of time praying for God to guide my decision and give me peace about it. I don't know what the future holds, and I am trying to remind myself daily that He is faithful. That He knows our deepest desires and has our best in mind. I am feeling called to take yet another leap of faith in life, and just like the last one, I am sure it won't be without struggles, but I know that He will provide. He is good. He is faithful. I am reminded of that every day when I look into the eyes of my precious rainbow baby (a rainbow baby refers to a baby born after a loss).
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